When he says...
When he says you're too good for him BELIEVE HIM
When he says he doesn't deserve you BELIVE HIM
When he says he's not ready to commit BELIEVE HIM
When he says he doesn't believe in monogamy BELIEVE HIM
When he says he just wants to be friends BELIEVE HIM
When he says, 'You're not the one,' BELIEVE HIM!
When he says he's 'Not ready for a relationship.' BELIVE HIM!
You can't change him, your love won't change him, your kindness, generously and commitment won't change him.
Men don't warn you in an attempt to challenge you to change them or find the good in them, they're asking you to believe them and set a standard that forces them to be better by HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM UNTIL THEY REACH IT!
They're begging you to hear their cry for pressure, not for you to help soothe or fix them.
If he says, 'I'm an asshole,' he's telling you because he thinks you deserve the warning, because he knows at some point he's gonna to be an asshole to you. This is the test, the time when he's literally asking if your standards are low enough to date an asshole.
So? Are they?
It's not his attempt to get you to say the greatness you see in him, it's PERMISSION TO BE AN ASSHOLE FOREVER.
Not even HE wants you to accept that version of him. He keeps hoping he'll meet a woman who knows her worth and walks away so he can find the reason, the pressure, to change - not for you, but for himself.
He'll never change for you - he's an asshole, remember? Why would an asshole change for someone else?
He's hot to change for HIM, and THEN he can show up in life as a NOT ASSHOLE. That version of a man will inspire YOU to be the best version of you and make you want to let go of any excuses or explanations that you feel the need to honestly reveal before life outs them for you.
