Memory Flakes

You changed, Ra .. "you say sometime.
"We seem to have never been familiar before. You even like strange to meet face to face with me. My every whim is always wrong in your eyes. I am in your presence, not even like a friend of the past filled with happy memories as a close friend .. "

I have known about it.

I know, someday, you will reveal everything. I know, someday you'll have it all. When you are no longer strong with all the circumstances that happen to you. That's what you think. Only you seem to be the victim of all my indifference. No, it's not just you who feel it. Though you will not know, how true everything goes until I become a person like this.



And this is the time. When you can not afford to stop it all. Feel yourself all the burdens. Which again, it's all just based on your perception.

"Why? Do you give up all this? "
"Should I keep acting foolishly, so that others will not realize what's going on?" He shouted in tears.
"Who told you to do all that?"

I caught the movement of his hand that rubbed the tip of his eye; wipe the falling tears. Tears that may have been suspended for so long. Waiting for a dam that can overflow at any time. Before then he continued his discharge.

"Circumstances, Ra .. circumstances and your cold attitude that requires me to always play on the reality. You do not even realize it, Ra .. how can that be? "
"Whose word?" I paused; confronted my position right in front of her.
"Who said, I do not even know? Who says, I do not even realize it? It is precisely this foolishness that you fabricate that makes everything so obvious, without you knowing it. You are not even able to grasp the language of love that people around you come up with different shapes. You can not even grasp the language implied by them, then how can you understand everything? If you can not even understand it, how can you even feel it? "

I sighed. Shifting his eyes from his startling face. There was a sting of regret that appeared between his united frown.

"You're too engrossed in your world, Cha .." my voice softened.
"You are too preoccupied with your own feelings. Makes you feel like always a victim of everything that happens. Then you stop understanding. Stop the situation. Then blame others for the cause of all the facts. "

He paused. And I deliberately held my words for some time. Waiting for a reaction from him.
Silence. For a moment the mood becomes colder than usual. Only silence hung in the air. Includes an estrangement that controls all tastes.

"Is that me, Ra?" She asked bitterly.
Instantly, I feel guilty for making it like this. However, I never really thought it wrong. Just a little change of attitude to make him realize what has escaped him so far. Though he can not be warned, he acted so far.

"Ra, forgive ..." look at him with the ears flowing from his eyes.

Ah, you've always been able to turn things around like this. Makes me feel like a prisoner pushed by a thousand mistakes. I'm still silent. My mind wandered backward. Given our memories that are still warm in the memory. My eyes warmed up. And then incarnate opaque inside in a few moments.

"I miss you, Cha .." I whispered in the end.
"No matter how much you step away from me, you stay close to here. Although only a shadow that no longer can embrace his form. "
She hugged me tightly. Like not wanting to release my small body from the hug. As if afraid if I suddenly left.

"Forgive me who can not mengeksamai everything that happened, Ra ... forgive, because I can not understand the language of love that you always secretly entrusted to me .."

God, watch him .. love him, collect us in your Paradise Firdaus. Amen. "I whispered softly to myself. Expect the prayer to air, then twist to his' Ars.