Love is a verb

You have been deceived. This may come as a shock to you, but Hollywood has not been fully honest with you. The love you see in most movies is not love. So many people base their expectations of romantic relationships on what they see in the movies and on TV, romance is easy to script because then it can be idealised. What you are calling love is nothing more than infatuation, what you may be is in love with the idea of love as you think it is.

Love is hard work. Love is what you decide to do when the feelings fade (and they do) and the romance isn’t rose petals and bubble baths. Love isn’t a feeling, though it can result in feelings. It does not depend on feelings however. Thanks to the fable you have believed in, you may think that when it gets tough and you don’t feel “in love” any more that it is game over, wrong, it’s GAME ON!

Here is the real test though, if you feel like walking away when the feelings have gone, then perhaps you should. The “one” will more than likely be the one you want to stick with when you don’t feel the warm fuzzy. Sadly though, people tend to make all the commitments when the feelings are strong and then discover that when the feelings are gone the person isn’t actually the “one”, oops. My advice is to enjoy the feelings, but don’t take them too seriously, and whatever you do, do not say I do until the “I do” is not in the heat of some fleeting emotion.

If this advice sticks in your throat, ask yourself if you are just in love with the idea of being “in love”. A good sign would be if you are a serial dater, and find yourself losing interest quickly. Real life sucks to the “in love with love” people. Take it slow, enjoy the fireworks, but get ready for the real work.