Is the Institution of Marriage getting weaker by the day 💞💑 💫
Yesterday I met up with a very dear old time friend after a very long time. Since the last two years have not been much in contact with him so was little bit cut off from his personal space, but then we managed to catch up for a good amount of time exchanging about how our lives were progressing....
At his end on professional front business is booming very well which I was very glad to know.
On personal front, he's married and has 2 children. Though it was sad to know his married life is not going very good.
On checking for the reasons as to what is the problem, he mentioned, he does not get freedom in his married life and hence he is thinking of separation.
So I did a bit of counselling with him, trying to make him understand that life does change after marriage, you cannot be living the same way like how you do when you are single.
I do not wish to discuss more of him but what I see is this is not the first case that I hear, on a regular basis I have these cases where couples are falling out of their relationships and the majority of these cases reason is personal freedom.
I do not say that in marriage you give up your personal space and freedom but at the same time I do believe that this is one relation which will require a lot of understanding and adjustments and to an extent some amount of sacrifice from both partners. No 2 people are same hence there is definetly going to be some amount of differences, conflicts in the relation, but that's part of this deal and if you want to work it out there also will be compromises made.
In India where a lot of marriages in this age also are arranged marriages, where the two do not get time to know each other very well before the marriage it definetly becomes a big challenging for both the partners to start living with each other.
Also its not always that the female partner has to make it work, which is the mentality in majority cases. It's mutual both the sides need to equally work on making the relation work if they want it to.
What I see a lot common in these times is that the tolerance level has gone down lots with people which majorly effects the relation. Even for people who have been dating for years and then get married, god knows what happens after marriage. Suddenly after marriage the flaws start popping up.
Marriage is not only based on Love or that it's just about Love. There is understanding, compassion, compromise everything that is required. If things are falling apart or breaking up, the two needs to gather it back, mend it up and not let it further break.
Life never will be the same after marriage, and both the partners need to come to terms on that and work it out in a way that a beautiful married life is weaved up with both the combinations.
A little bit of her and a little bit of his together will make this relation work beautifully. Ego has no place in this relation.
Divorce and Separation are easy remedies but the real fun is in making it work, so that when you get old together and look back at the journey you will be proud of the miracles you made in your lives.
For sure when I talk about this I do not support any sort of abusive partners. My advise is for those who cannot think beyond them.
Relationship of Marriage is demanding in all ways from both the sides, hence allow the ego to take a back seat. Act mutually, it's not only about you. It's always the US.
With Love and Angels Blessings 💖💖👼🏻👼🏻🧚♀
My other blogs of Interest
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"marriage is like a wine the longer the better"- that's what I heard from my grandpa. @nainaztengra yes you're right about marriage should be compromise and there's no place in marriage for being selfish, part of your soul and your partner is already tied up, that's the purpose of marriage.
True, the more time you spend in marriage the more you explore the relation and start complimenting with each other.
though i haven't experience that kind of relationship, but at least i got some of ideas of yours, thanks for sharing though :)
Awesome write up! I’m new to #thealliance and am familiarizing myself with the members
Thank you @mcoinz79. I wish you all the very best in your journey and loads of success :-)
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Thank you for sharing.
You gave me chance to think the meaning of marriage once again
Thank you @slowwalker for reflecting on my post :-)
love is love whether it takes the form of marriage or not ...
This is an interesting post. I am divorced and I love being single. That piece of paper will not hold anyone's love together. Relationships are work and love is the glue.
True my dear a paper cannot hold any relation. I do not know your story and hence no comments on that.
Four of my friends got divorced last year. Four.
And so many people cheat. It's insane.
That's very sad to read. I wish people can have some more patience to deal with their relations.
These two are definitely on the loosing side. By formal marriages I meant love marriages with no proper understanding of each other - ie people who have probably loved each other for a decade but never stayed together for more than few hours kind of scenario.
Yes these are a little difficult marriages since there is no connection before hand, but then you know what you are getting into and that is what you have chosen for yourself so might as well try to make it work :-)
Seems to me that marriage is increasingly being challenged by our ever inflating sense of "how good" life is supposed to be. And we are sold so many stories and images about things supposedly being "easy."
I don't think relationships have really changed much; expectations have, and they have changed towards the unrealistic. Then we compare ourselves to the unrealistic and decide that "life sucks" based on what we're feeling, where two generations ago the exact same situation would generate feelings of "this is a bit challenging."
With people of our grandparents' age, "happiness" was almost a bonus; now it is almost "demanded."
Bright Blessings!
So well said @whitelightexpress. Yes the expectations are soaring high by the day, people sometimes are getting into fantasy world and then trying to fit that in their real relations which creates all the mess.
Marriage is basis to a community. Human DNA includes couples in a sort of partnership.
However, sometimes it is related also to geography, in some places marriage is mandatory for their culture, in other places, it is less important.
I believe in marriage.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts @antonella