An Open Letter To The Man Who Built Me Up and Broke Me Open

I don't pray for your suffering, but for your healing.

I know it was never your intention to hurt me like you did.

You, like most, have a trauma which disables you from giving or receiving love wholly.
When I met you, you healed that trauma in me.
But it seems that I couldn't heal you.

I will never regret our journey. You exposed me to parts of myself I didn't know were there. I loved you in ways I didn't think I was capable of.

But most importantly, you taught me to love myself, in a way you never could.

You showed me my strength, and now you're showing me again, as I push forward with my raw heart. I thank you, for the incredible lessons you gave me, and teaching me that I am capable of loving another unconditionally.

God I fucking loved you.
But I held blinding attachments to that love, and I will not make that mistake again.

I know we both chose this long ago, to teach us lessons and to make us into the people we need to be. I'm choosing to learn and grow from this pain. I can only hope you're the man I think you are, and do the same.

I love you, always, in this life and the next.
Goodbye for now my love.