A Sad UPDATE on @lynncoyle1 and @briancourteau
(Several months ago, Playa del Carmen)
Hi everyone,
I've had a few of you asking how things are going lately with Brian and I, especially because I've been relatively absent here; no post in a few weeks and very little commenting. Unfortunately, the time has come for me to take a real break from here, because Brian just isn't doing well at all.
We went through a long period where he seemed to be holding his own, even though his energy was low, he still woke up feeling good and could accomplish a little something most days. About a week or so ago though, he felt as though he was going to be sick to his stomach, ran to the bathroom, only to have blood come up; not a little bit either. It was intermittent for several days, but today it's bad, plain and simple. He's also had blood in his regular bathroom functions too. Things are not looking good.
We are going to visit my brother and family next week, and my parents are arranging to meet us there as well; it will be nice to see all of them, but I have to admit that I could use a little family support as well. And if I'm being completely honest, it's a chance for Brian to say goodbye to them, and they to him.
The optimist in me is hoping that this is all nothing to worry about, but the realist in me is pretty sure that's not the case. I think it's all finally happening, and to say I'm heartbroken is an understatement. But as usual, we will continue to spend our time together and love each other, and truly drink in every second that we have with each other.
I know some of you will ask about doctors etc, but Brian's plan has always been to go out on his own terms, especially after all the initial traditional treatments (chemo...) and alternative treatments were unsuccessful, and I respect that as well, so no doctors, no hospitals, just pain management and a choice for him when "it's time".
I'm sure if you've read this far, you might be thinking, how do I possibly respond or comment here?
My answer to you is simply, with your heart.
Brian and I have both been brutally honest with all of you along this journey of ours, and it's not over yet. He will continue to fight and love me, and I'll continue to care for him and love him like no other. And I'm asking all of you to continue being supportive, pray, send positive energy or keep doing whatever you think is helpful. On a very practical level, I'd ask if you could resteem this or let people know because I cannot let all of you know individually, and there are so many of you that I'd like to do that for. You have all been such a support system for me during these last several months, and Brian's wish is that you continue to be just that for me, now and when he's gone. We are both eternally grateful for all of it.
It's not over until the fat lady sings, and right now, I'm gagging her so she can't :)
(September 2018)
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I'm so so sorry to hear this Lynn... I hadn't heard from you in awhile and was hoping that things were getting better and maybe Brian was beating it. He told me today that you all my get over on the east coast at some point and I thought it might be a sign that things are improving. I was wrong. I hope the two of you spend every day like you have the last year and that is by making memories. Those will be something you can hold onto and something that he can take comfort that he provided you with forever! I wish you all the best and if you do get by my area at all I would love to share that beer with ya. Take care of yourself and of course Brian and thank you for being so strong.
Thank you Dave; yes, Brian was wishing for another epic road trip; we talked of all the people we'd love to meet together, like you, but realistically, I don't see it in our future. Maybe it's something I may do one day. This is all so hard, and I know will only get harder, so I'm really looking forward to seeing family; my son is also coming to visit the beginning of December, so that will be great as well.
Thank you again<3
This sure wasn't an easy read, @lynncoyle My heart aches for both of you but at the same time I am in awe at your strength, love and endurance while on this journey together.
We tend to take so much for granted in life and yet we forget how precious every moment is.
If there is any good that can come of this time in your lives, perhaps it is that you were given the awareness that every moment is a gift. In that, you have probably accumulated more 'life and love' than most do in an entire lifetime.
I love you both
Thank you @youhavewings for such a beautiful and thoughtful comment. Brian and I both appreciate it; and yes, we've lived more in these few short years, that some do in a lifetime. Oh, the memories that we've created!
Reading this made me look deeper into my soul. You said to comment from the heart... so here it goes.
Not everyone experiences the love you and Brian share... some people go their entire lifetime never knowing what a soulmate is or what true love is. But you and Brian have it. You are the poster children for what love is and looks like.
In these future days as you spend time with family, I wish you, @lynncoye1, the strength to uplift not only yourself but Brian and your families. And for @briancourteau, I give you the peace to hold all those you love close and recall all the memories you and Lynn have had together.
I love your heart @goldendawne <3 Thank you so much for this comment! I've been reading these every day and they've given me such peace and love in my own heart ... thank you for being a part of that <3
I hope Brian is having a good day today... give him blessings from me.
He is actually! so thank you @goldendawne ... from both of us :)
Wishing you strength for whatever is in store! Take care and enjoy family, come back to us when you are ready.
Thank you so much @whatsup!
I think one of the hardest journeys we can take in life is the one where we accompany a spouse to the door we are not able to enter with. My heart and admiration goes out to you for the strength you are summoning to make this journey with Brian and respecting his wishes along its path.
While you are looking after Brian.. don't forget to care for yourself.
@shadowspub
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Thank you so much @shadowspub; that means so much to me. The fact that you recognize and appreciate how difficult this journey is for me tells me perhaps you've walked a similar path? or you're simply very empathetic. Thank you again <3
yes i have walked it @lynncoyle1... my husband died in 1989 after an 18 month illness.
@lynncoyle1, Gag the fat lady, heck, drug her up and lock her in the basement!! After reading your post I'm so happy that you ended with a smile. Stay strong and please be on the lookout for a warm fuzzy ball of good energy coming from 650 km below the equator.
@briancourteau you have her, and you got us and we will be doing whatever helps. You are not alone. Digital bearhugs and much love from my end of the woods
Sorry it took so long to reply @faustofraser; took a few days to drag the fat lady to the basement :) And I've received your warm fuzzy ball of good energy every single time I read your comment ... which has been plenty of times over these few days. Thank you so much for that; these comments give me such peace when I'm feeling down about things.
Brian and I both appreciate the bearhugs as well! Thank you for being awesome <3
Dear @lynncoyle1. Very, very sorry to read this post, but admire your openness about what you and Brian are now facing. What does one say in response?
While there are always opportunities through any given day to think about it, I think we are all somewhat similar. If we are ever going to do it, we often find times like this to be ones where we question the very meaning of life. For those of us who believe in God, there is no tougher question to answer than “if there is a loving God, why does He allow bad things to happen to good people?” There may be some disagreement on this, but this was always the hardest for me.
I do believe there is an answer. In times my family have gone through recently, facing similar situations, we find peace and strength to deal with it, through our faith. Believing there is ultimately a bright future to come.
I won’t belabor the point more, unless asked. Just know I have always appreciated who you are “in here” @lynncoyle1 and also very clear there are “real people” on the other side of our interactions. I will ask the community group my wife and I lead to pray for you and Brian, as ”with my heart” I don’t believe there is anything greater than I / we can do.
Also, now that I understand more clearly why you are coming to Texas, I hope you find the support you both need in meeting with family.
Thank you so much for the lovely response @roleerob! Brian and I both believe that there's something amazing in store for him when he leaves this earth, and me too eventually (no rush :). We also firmly believe that there will come a time when we're together again.
We both really appreciate all of you and your wife's prayers (and the community groups too); It's amazing to me to think that there are literally people all over the world who are praying, sending positive thoughts, energy etc. This steemit thing can really be something! <3
Spending some time with family is a good thing. You could use the rest after the past couple of days.
It’s a tuff road and not for the faint hearted. My best wishes always
Thank you @wolfhart; you of all people know exactly what we're going through. Lots of love right back to you from the two of us.
I hope that you can spend thanksgiving with family. No matter what we sure do have many things to be great full for.
You said it brother ;)
I've been dreading this kind of post for a while now, @lynncoyle1 and @briancourteau. And I wish I could say something to make it easier for both of you... but I can't.
All I can do is say that I'm thinking of you both every day, and I'm wishing you both all the courage and strength you'll need to cope with this.
I can,t even imagine what you are going through, and - like you predicted - I'm a bit lost for words. I could never have imagined I would be this upset about people I haven't even met in real life.
I hope you can still enjoy your moments together, and can find strength in all the positive things that have happened since you both met.
Make the most of whatever time you still have.
My heart and thoughts are with you both.
Xxxx
Resteemed, like you asked
Thank you so very much @simplymike; for someone at a loss for words, you said the perfect things :)
I feel the same about you <3
If I could I would be helping you gag the fat Lady so she cant sing, My thoughts are with you both
Thanks buddy; I know you would!