Are you Single and Seriously Searching or Seriously Complicated?
Whichever way, I am sure you are surviving and that is what life is all about. The African society has not been particularly fair to the single girl. A girl between the ages of 23 and 28 years who has a good education, job, family background, but no husband, fiancé or even a steady boyfriend is often regarded as loose and sometimes as unlucky. But the most common notion about that kind of girl is that of moral laxity. One thing people fail to realize is the fact that life is much more difficult for a single girl than her male counterpart. Apart from societal pressures on her to settle down, she still has to cope with unwanted advances from lecherous bosses, colleagues and other men who believe the easiest way to get her is by the mention of that magic word MARRIAGE!
Almost every society brings up its girls to expect marriage, kids and all the fun that accompanies marriage. But it is not humanly possible for every girl to hook a young, handsome gentleman, from a good, preferably rich family. Although, some girls through careful scheming and sheer luck are able to get their husbands early, the less fortunate ones still have to search high and low for that elusive creature called MR. RIGHT. The pressure on single girls to get married is more these days, as it appears the female gender is geometrically multiplying daily. A fact the men never let you forget just in case you are having illusions about having your man all to yourself. They would remind you about the male/female ratio of 1:5 and how they are helping to keep the womenfolk happy by not sticking to one woman.
So, what is the responsible factor for this “Spinster Glut”?
Could it be due to the philandering and unserious attitudes of our men? Or is it the over idealistic values of our women? Could it be parents’ objection to inter-tribal/inter-religious marriage? Or is it simply what I will term ‘dearth or shortage of good men’? If I may say so, men contribute immensely to this problem. Men being what they are, are very slippery and do not like any form of commitment except perhaps when they are truly ready. They can smell marriage a mile away and believe like they have all the time in the world. But a woman cannot afford to adopt that attitude because of her biological nature, clock and make up. We all know how these “Messer’s Right” behave when we eventually find them. They do not necessarily see you as their “Miss Right”
Let’s face it, majority of the guys these days are mercenaries, they are all looking for girls with money. There are two categories of eligible, young upcoming single guy. There is the ambitious suave gold-digging social climber, who would do anything to affiliate himself with money and connections that could further his ambitions. Maybe I fall into this category. The other type is the natural “butter” (posh) whose affluence and sophistication come naturally to him. In the first place you have to be extra good for him to have a serious relationship with you. However you should expect serious opposition from his family if they are stuck up and believe your family is inconsequential. But most times, they marry one of their own kinds. An example is the union of Ajimobi and Ganduje.
The first category guy is usually the most- good looking, charming and extra ambitious. He has a middle or lower class background as the case maybe. They are also equipped with good education and sound moral background. He would not let anything, not even his love for a middle class person like you deter him from getting a millionaire’s daughter or a self-made woman whose money would come in handy. Girls sheepishly think they are the only kind who want rich, well educated partner with prospect. Well the guys want girls like that too and more. I mean who does not want a girl whose father can give him a cheap wedding gift like a little posh BMW X6, or a modest Toyota Venza and in the absence of nothing, a small Nissan Murrano? Tell this kind of guy your name and let him ask if there is a connection with the CEO of that promising oil company and you demurely and decorously answer yes, that he is your father. You would actually see calculation and respect in his eyes.
The idealistic values and perfectiveness of girls have also proved to be a source of spinster glut; they would be busy looking for Mr. Perfect and would end up with Mr. Available. They are keen in having Mr. Right as it were, when they can actually drag Mr. Left to the right hand side. Parents too are not helping much by objecting to inter-tribal or inter-religious marriages. So who or rather what is responsible for this spinster glut? If nobody is willing to give a solution to it, could someone please tell that girl that she should continue to experiment in this laboratory of relationship until the good guy come her way?
To that wonderful creature created after creation, don’t worry; life is too short for it not to be lived to the fullest. Just pray for the foresight to know what is good for you when you see him and the good sense to keep him, when you find him.
Written by @henryndunka
Pictures from pexels.com