Boyfriends are Bad News

## Freeing Love from the Confines of Societal Structures 

America is no stranger to experimentation in the realms of sex, love, and relationships. We have puritanical Christians who don’t believe in sex before lifelong vows of marriage and fidelity. In the same land, our country has witnessed the “free love” movement in the 60’s and 70’s which, while seemingly good in intention, turned into a “free sex” movement which spiraled into drugs, intense partying, meaningless sex and apathy. But for the most part, women and men seem to have drifted apart now more than ever with neverending confusion and misdirected communication crumbling at the foundation of what makes us whole, united and one nation. Vicious and emotionally violent divorces are as common as bread and butter and at the same time, millennials are choosing to focus on themselves, their careers, and conspicuous consumption rather than raising families with chatty brunch dates and hookup culture replacing American values of strong and resilient families. How are we to navigate such turbulent waters, the rising tide of which separates man from woman and therefore one half from his/her spiritual other half. For the sake of simplicity, let’s put aside the issue of radical queerness though we must consider queerness within heterosexuality and also take into account and investigate so called non-heteronormative relationships between man and woman for they will save the world. The old rules are dead and we have a responsibility to ourselves and those we love to rewrite them with intelligence, common sense, and integrity, not to just destroy the past but to recreate a foundation for love, harmony and union in a new era of sexuality, feminine wisdom, and healthy male strength. Some want to keep the old and others want to destroy it but the real path towards a new future is a cocreative one in which we admit to ourselves the predicament we’re in and accept responsibility for our participation in this social disease and finally commit ourselves to doing something about it. This is my cry, my plea, and my investigation into a nation of future security, cultural wealth and emotional and sexual prosperity. For if we do nothing, we are doomed and committed to merely repeating the mistakes of the past with a veneer of a new, trendy way to express supposed progressive intentions. We must do away with this silly, destructive archetype of the superficially loud and whiney social justice warrior and instead take a stance of embodied action and work for the service of a greater humanity and the dear planet that we live on who supplies us graciously with all of our food and water.

To progress in any dimension of reality, we must admit to ourselves and open our eyes relentlessly to the truth of our current situation and the self-denial which we all bring to the table. In America, as in many parts of the globe, we see two side in opposition who are both fighting for their right to a happy and prosperous future and an allowance for their way of life. The feminine aspect of society wants to see the protection of and allowance for sexual and gender expressions which were previously outlawed in American society. Meanwhile, the masculine aspect of society witnesses the crumbling of real manhood and real womanhood and the institutions which joined these forces together for the foundation of right livelihood and healthy, resilient, adaptive family life. One side calls themselves the Democrats and the other are called Republicans. These are labels used to reduce the opposing team to less than human status but the general gender-poliitcal dynamics remain despite it. This view of both sides of the story is viewable only to those who choose to open their hearts to all kinds of people and more likely, have lived both in big cities and out in the country. Both “sides” care about the future of this country and both have valid concerns though in this political climate, are not interacting or dialoguing with each other in healthy, productive ways. 

While it is easy to say that both genders are to blame equally, which they of course are, just like in any relationship, if the relationship is out of balance, one gender is inevitably going to take over the conversation. Right now it is women. Many think that we live in a man’s world but we don’t. Or if we do, women are hell-bent on making it a woman’s world which is equally as destructive and inhumane though in different ways. One merely has to look at the number of relationships around us that are dominated by emotionally manipulative and controlling women. The fact that there are woman abusers out there does not deny or negate the fact that most adult relationships that I personally have wittness are dominated by hyper-aggressive and emotionally intelligent but highly manipulative women. 

It seems that women have seen their lot in life, taken the whip away from man, and used it to dominate their aggressors in exactly the same manner in which they were previously subjugated. This amounts to an insecure, overly-dominating, and hyper-aggressive male energy as the supposed cure and freeing response to woman’s previous role in society which, if you go far back enough, was widely valued, appreciated, and cherished. Women were cherished and valued for being women, not for becoming a man in a man’s world. Women are congratulated in this day and age for breaking glass ceilings that are men’s ceilings in general (though not in every case), instead of being the emotional backbone of society which they are. If you, dear reader think I am underappreciating the capabilities of women, know that I cannot in a million years do the job of being a strong and feminine woman in today’s society. Far from it. Just because I did not support or vote for a woman president does not mean I can’t understand the sheer significance and power of a true and honest woman in this age. In fact, it is in dedication and honor for the true divine feminine and males aspects and those who carry them within for the protection and coaching of others that I write this paper.

I do not wish to pontificate endlessly and neurotically as an academic would (they’re all full of toxic aggro-femininity at any rate) but I wish to propose a brief, in-depth, and honest reflection on the gender trends which I can’t help but watch as the foundations of my country fall to the ground. The primary means by which the femocrats dominate the conversation is by capitalizing on the complete victim archetype, using white guilt and national emotional insecurity to lure and trap would-be progressives and moderates (I say would-be because modern-day progressives have almost nothing progressive about them or their policy goals). The female, immigrant, POC, queer refugee is not really a concern for the white, liberal Democrat but rather a talking point and media story that is used to dominate republican and conservative voices and assert their moral and spiritual superiority to enact vengeance on Republican administrations who were more centrist and just as big-government as the Democrats. This is an unhealthy state of affairs and I can only hope to report it honestly and with a point of view of future wealth and prosperity. 

While its all good and fun to intellectualize and have arguments about these gender and political fights, they have very real-world consequences for all of us, especially us who are looking for and open to real relationships with the opposite sex. On the one hand we have supposed “toxic masculinity” which is just male insecurity expressed as outward violence towards others because they were taught that women don’t love them. On the other side we have feminized, dominated, weak, and obedient “good guys” who can’t seem to figure out why women don’t find them attractive. These supposed men were taught that women like men who are easily dominated and do whatever they say i.e. doormats. Hopelessly caught in the midde are men who do not deny that they are men and in so doing acknowledge and value their feminine side as well and the access that women give them to their own sources of empathy, vulnerability and inner wealth. For these men, real women are far and few between and the ones they find are so accustomed to men who are not real men that they wall themselves off in self-protection. The ones that do find mates do so using arrangements of financial and political security rather than true, undying love. It does not please me to report these things but something must be said about this state of affairs and with an honest, fresh and comprehensive perspective as well.

How can we adress so many swirling issues, opinions, and political interests? It seems impossible or at least impossibly complicated but the answer is so simple it’s stupid. Love. Real love. Undying love. I will take a bullet in front of you or wrestle a bear for you if I have to level of love. The only way true love will win is if we as a people, as men and women, and as partners renew our belief in the triumph and power of real love. For too long have we separated ourselves in the name of practicality or economic interests. We have been told to be realistic and to make practical choices. We’re told not to have children until we’re ready and that marriages will end in failure and to only marry him if he has money. Most nefarious of all is the story of Romeo & Juliet, the inevitability that the deepest, truest love will inevitably and tragically separated because of economic divides and petty politics. We have been sold a sham and a lie and it is time to pick up the torch of undying love once again that we might be shielded, comforted and protected by its light. Cast away your cynicism. The time is right to heal all of your wounds inflicted by the opposite sex and to believe that more is possible. You can be happy. You can be whole. You will be in love if you would only believe and believe and for every obstacle that comes in your way to see it as a sign that overcoming it will only bring you the man or woman of your dreams.  True love is possible and it can save the world.