Why LaLa Land Scared the Hell Out of Me as a Man

I watched LaLa Land about a year after it came out. I heard about all the hype, great reviews, and award success, but didn't feel compelled to watch it for whatever reason. However, once I did, I became completely engrossed in the film, watching it many times shortly thereafter. One might say that I was raised believing in strong traditional values and love of country. I really enjoyed so many things about the movie, including its archetypal story aspects, classical Hollywood style, boy meets girl plot, hero's journey format, American ideal of following your dreams, well written script, music, and highly talented, attractive actors.

However, I was troubled by the dream sequence at the end which illustrated Seb having to essentially give up his dream in order to be with Mia. This is illustrated by the fact that Seb and Mia visit the jazz club as mere spectators rather than owners at the end of the sequence -- Mia is obviously a success actress, but there is no substantial illustration of Seb's professional accomplishments. Some might disagree with this interpretation, but this seems glaringly obvious omission of relevant detail to me. As the dream indicates, he had to follow Mia to France in order to continue the relationship, effectively putting his own goals and dreams on hold, at the very least, if not completely abandoned.

You can debate the merits of Seb's and Mia's respective dreams. I do believe that Mia's dream is "better" than Seb's in the sense that the market tends to rewards top actors with greater financial success than it does top classical Jazz musicians. If fact, I told my wife that I though Seb's dream was stupid and Mia's was much better. But, stupid or not, Seb's dream was still his own and clearly an important part of his identify and purpose.

Western society today is very gynocentric. Pedestals and white knighting for women are the norm. Any man who's been married for 10 years or more knows that your wife doesn't really care about your professional hopes and dreams. She cares about hers -- having the right car, house, friends, accessories, etc. A woman reading this might say, "not all women are like that," but most are and this fact is undeniable.

So, is the subconscious message of LaLa Land just submit to your woman and forget about your hopes and dreams in order to have "harmony" and keep the relationship intact? I'm troubled by the idea of this message potentially mars an otherwise beautiful film.