Unrequited Love

This is probably one of the shittiest thing to happen to anyone. Unrequited love is simply a one-sided love. Although it could be understood by the other person, it is not reciprocated.

An annoying fact about humans is that we spend a lot of quality time obsessing about love; the need to love and be loved. Little wonder we throw all sense of reasoning to the wind when it comes to love; it’s a matter of the heart and not of reasoning. And then the worst happens; your poor heart decides to fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you back and we all know, “the heart wants what it wants” (hi Selena Gomez).

This is a serious issue, but I’m trying so hard not to laugh while writing this because if we could just sit and see things from a different angle, we would see how toxic, draining and irrelevant this is.

So according to a research made by Dr. Roy Baumeister, falling in love with someone who is more desirable, whether because of physical beauty or attributes like charm, intelligence, wit or status, is prone to leave your love unrequited. This creates an awkward situation, causing embarrassment if such feelings are revealed and not reciprocated.

As unimportant as this may sound, unrequited love actually has an effect on the brain. Being unsure about the feelings of the beloved and the whole situation, sends amygdala (the part of the brain responsible for emotions, survival instincts and memory) into a hyperactive mode. Fucking amygdala!!!

This simply means that the individual becomes more energetic than usual, making them extremely euphoric or extremely sad, depending on the situation. “Most of this energy is spent on following the beloved and in finding ways to be around them”. Unrequited lovers are prone to depression. Other effects are:
• Becoming selfish over time, as a result of rejection.
• Exhibiting self-defeating behaviours.
• Developing addictions, such as becoming alcoholics, smokers and even in the usage of narcotics.

It should also be noted that people in relationships can also be unrequited lovers. This happens when one loves more than the other or when the other lover abruptly ends the relationship, leaving the other lover defeated. “This is why, when your loved one walks away, like there was nothing between the two of you, the chemical reactions that go on inside the unrequited lover’s body are similar to the loss of a loved one”. Wawwu!!!

whew So how can you get over an unrequited love?
Well... I have a one-step method where I just say, “It’s like that boy is mad, thunder fire him sef" and move on to being the baddest bitch on earth.
Although very effective (at least to me), there are other subtle ways. Some of which are:
• Remember it’s not your fault and nothing is wrong with you. It’s also not their fault. It’s just them turning you down, which they have the right to do.

• Remind yourself that you don’t want to be in a relationship that was acquired. The love shared should be equal and mutual and if he/she can’t love you as much you do them, then they are not worth your time (or simply say, it’s like you're mad, thunder fire you sef)

• Dwell in the beauty of you. I mean you have to love yourself so much to make it nearly impossible for you to dwell in self-pity and sorrow for someone who doesn't see your worth and how unique, awesome and beautiful you are. Invest in yourself to be the better version of you.

Sweetheart you’re just too important to be taken for granted and remember there can only be one of version of you. You only live once. Take notice of those that love you and appreciate them; at the end of the day, they are all that matter.

Let me end with this beautiful quote on the subject:
“Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.” (James Matthew Barrie)

Ps: If at anytime in this post you think the love I have Vin Diesel is unrequited, your brain must really be hurting you. My man loves me dearly and I, him; he just doesn’t know it yet. Hence, I would be writing on Unaware Love soon.... 😂 no, I'll not.

Another PS: If you’re around someone who is in this situation, try to show some support and charity towards them and stop judging them to be stupid, because you have one chewing gum boyfriend, that someone cannot hear word because of anymore. Stupid, you hear?

Fuck PS: I had so much fun sourcing for those "the guy i like vs the guy that likes me" memes. Are you bored? Google it.