Drowned in the pool of hate

In the pool of hate yet love is the foundation
I swim through a past that drags me behind
Yet I wish to be by your side
Your side where comfort,comfort how I wish I could remember what it felt
The feeling of what seemed to be the opposite of what I feel now
Far from rage
Far from pain
Far from hate,hate,hate
Its my past, my past where I am reminded of what love felt like or could it be that love isn't what I felt..
But the tears, the sleepless nights, nights my heartache yet I felt no pain, nights where the more I pleaded for sleep, sleep got distant.. Nights where I look for the day and the day got further
Its a pool of hate yet love is the foundation
A pool I drown in with memories of what we used to be
Creating a future where it seemed like we pioneered what love is
But now it all seems like a facade .a facade
The lies I listened to everything you looked me in the eyes
The truth tearing us apart
The knowledge that made me weak
The mockery that made me worthless. Worth less
And now I wallow in pity, looking for what I think comfort should be, slightly opening the door of my heart but letting no one in
You created an existence yet you not here to nurture it
Its a pool of hate yet love is the foundation