Fragment Words on Relation

“ There is no everlasting love over the world. If there is, just because the lovers have died early enough.” When the first time I have heard it, I have associated with Romeo and Julio involuntarily and Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yintai. Both of these two couples are the most classic examples of lovers in the western and eastern world. Nobody has questioned their love until now. However, in my opinion, all of the love between lovers will vanish into the air finally. It depends on how to take care of it and keep it last longer. Romeo and Julio, Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yintai, they are lucky because before they had broke up, they have died.

In the following paragraphs, I will prove my opinion from three aspect. The first point is totally created by myself so it named “Fankelism”. The second body paragraph will talk about the psychology between lovers. The third body paragraph is an additional point to support the second point.

First of all, after studying the conservation law and combing with my experiences and personal views about loving and some close friends’ love. From these specific examples, now I will give a new theory which has the general characteristic and also is fit to explain the friendship. Fankelism: The magnitude of the love between valentines or the friendship between close friends is a constant. Despite the number of everyone’s magnitude is not same because it depends on different groups of people and various conditions. This magnitude is an inverse ratio with time people have stayed together. For instance, boy A and girl B, they have loved for a long time, the rest of the magnitude is decreased to a small amount. But if this couple are so close like everyday they chat a lot and almost time of everyday is used to accompany with each other, their love won’t last for a long time. I call the degree of how close between couples or friends as “Velocity”. This velocity has a range with a maximum and a minimum. Thus, if the digit of the velocity is higher than the peak, it will accelerate to decline. However, the velocity is too small, the other part in love will feel he or she is not important. As long as the number of velocity in this range, it is still a normal condition. And now, the formula can be set: T=M/V ( T means how long the love lasts. The value of M, Magnitude depends on the destiny and numerous different elements. V means the cost per day. The best situation is V in the range but not two polar points).

One of the most important reasons for I said love is not forever is people don't know what kind of people is their targets, as known as true loves. There are just two conditions for looking your partners or lover. One is the other person with similarities which match to you. The other circumstance is people are looking for the individual who have contrary characteristics or they can cooperate. For example, one is outgoing and social, the other one is introverted and careful. They can be the good partners on marketing. In the contrary, completely different personalities also bring numerous kinds of conflicts. Many useless disputes just push two individuals away and add the estrangement into their relation. Back to talk about similarities, the lovers with common similarities make the other person feel comfortable because they can communicate with each other easily without any obstacles. Thus, from the degree of the short-time period, this kind of lovers is better than the other one. But from the macroscopic view, it looks like looking in the mirror because the other one who you love is a similar yourself. Thus, after a while or a period of time, the couples will be fed up with each other. Their cohabiting lives consist of two similar individuals without any surprises, passion and sentiment. The reason for this is this kind of couples are too familiar with each other to make a romantic atmosphere which needs three elements I have said. To sum up, all of holy love will be ended by the daily trifling matters.

The third point is people always seek the road to ruin themselves. From Roland Bather’s 《A Lover’s Discourses》he figures out everyone in love does something which sacrifices their personal profit in order to show how important the love is. Personally, I think it is more popular among Chinese lovers. For example, E loves with C. When E does not have the ability to buy C gift for some festivals like Valentines’ Day, he still persists in doing it thus he has to sell some items or borrow money from some his friends. This kind of behaviour looks great. After using critical thinking, it is so meaningless. In addition, it brings the greatness to E to show off how he loves this girl but it causes deficit on himself. Next, his life becomes tough and he starts to have augments with his parents because he needs money to continue his romance. So there is more long-time pain than a short moment of vanity. If things go on like this, the happiness won’t be kept long time. At the end, this boy will be broke up by these “tortures”. Therefore, my personal view is don't think too much and never cross the bottom line of yourself.

In the conclusion, the extreme points does not fit to everything. Maybe in our daily lives, we should take the middle course.