Relationship

Understanding Why You Still Love Him After He Hurt You

There are a couple of different possibilities:

You believe that you deserve this type of love

After spending a significant amount of time in a situation it’s easy to begin to feel like you belong there. Even captured soldiers, prisoners, and hostages begin to develop a sense of affection for their captors if enough time passes.

It’s called Stockholm syndrome.

As you go through the cycle of mistreatment your confidence and self-esteem is slowly chipped away until you feel like you aren’t worthy of positive affection or a fairy tale kind of love.

You think that you can change them

Most women have a habit of loving a work in progress. We find a rough-around-the-edges guy. We see their potential and we fall in love with what they could be.

The problem with this is that not every guy wants to change. In fact a majority of people in general hate change when it is regarding themselves.

Trying to change someone who does not have any interest in changing is only going to breed anger, disappointment, and resentment.

In addition to all of this, your man may begin to hide things from you in an attempt to keep you happy and prevent you from nagging him. This will lead to loss of trust which is needed in a relationship.

You are afraid to admit that you failed

When you invest a lot of time and effort to something it is difficult to admit when it fails. Whether it’s school, a new job, working out, or a relationship, failure is a tough pill to swallow.

However, spending a lot of time on something does not mean that it’s right. Just because you committed to something does not mean that it is what is best for you.

Failure is how we learn. Make a point to recognize whatever went wrong in the relationship and use that information to have better relationships in the future.

How Did I End Up In This Situation?

But the question still remains, why do we end up in these situations? I mean, we all ask ourselves “Why me?” when we find ourselves hurting.

It’s clear that true love exists and that it is possible to obtain it. So, how did this happen?

Why did you end up being treated badly or like a possession?

Why weren’t you respected?

Men will often treat women in a way that reflects how the woman treats herself. Look back to when you began talking to this man or when you began to notice that things were getting bad.

Did you carry yourself in a way that demanded respect or did you make yourself an option?

When he blew you off to do something else did you stay home and spend the night gnatting him (texting nonstop) or did you go out with other people to show him that you didn’t need him?

Were you always the one to initiate contact and ask to hang out or did you make him put in effort of his own?

Men like the chase. It not only makes the beginning of the relationship interesting for him, it sets you apart from other women.