This is a beautiful writing, i don't understand why your rating is so low...
What you write is kind of funny to me as i always notice a certain proud in black women that i admire a lot. Being raised as a woman to please a man is also very present in white circles.
Anyway, although it may all be very present in your surroundings, the art is to be with your total self. What other people might think should not be in your thinking, much love