The Essence of True Love
What better topic to write about but Love. It’s the essence and the universal constant. It’s the basics of the spiritual life and it’s the most misunderstood topic in the world.
When we grow up, we learn about love mainly by our parents, our social environment and through movies and books.
The problem with this is, that through all these channels, we don’t learn about true Love. We learn about the Ego’s version of love.
The Ego’s version of love is all about giving and taking. When I give you love, you will give me love back - it’s a trade. We know that this doesn’t work out and ends in confusion, despair and suffering and at the same time, we have no alternative role models.
The world seems to have forgotten the real meaning of Love.
Let’s make it very simple: What Love is not
It’s time to make it simple and to redefine Love in a way, that makes it accessible for everyone.
Let us begin, by defining what true Love is not:
True Love is never about what another person does.
In other words: Whenever you say, that you love someone for behaving in a certain way and doing something of your preference, you are merely telling him, that you like him. You like, what he is doing. That’s all.
Now let us be clear on that: There is nothing wrong with liking what other people do with and for you. It’s beautiful to be with someone you like.
When people share your hobbies, do nice things for you, go out and socialize with you, do things, that cause you pleasure - it’s great to like and be liked. It’s just not Love.
The issue with that is, that people will stop doing what they are doing and so will you. It’s the natural flow of life. People do thing until they don’t and that’s that…
When you believe, that you love someone for what they are doing with and for you, you are basically - what’s the spiritual word for it? - fucked!
The problem is, that since you were disappointed all your life by people changing their behaviour, you already know that, what I’m telling you here is true. That’s why we experience so much fear inside, that people could change.
There is a constant tension inside, that what we call „love“ will be lost sometime. All the while, we are trying to hold on for dear life on what we think we have achieved.
This is the way we have learned about love and we think, that this is the only way. Living a life between joy and pain.
There is another way: What Love is
What then is true Love?
True Love is always about what another person is
It’s all about content and not form (a concept I have explained in my ACIM series, that you can read on my blog).
Now the tricky part is, that we already think, that we are loving the person for what he is. We think, that we already love the content.
Nothing so blinding as perception of form. (T-22.III.6)
Form is how another person looks, what he does - including his personality and tastes.
We think, that character and personality are part of the content, all the while they are still part of the world of form!
This is a very important point. Please read this again, before we continue.
Let this really sink in: Personality and character are form and not content.
I can’t overemphasize how important this realization is, for as long as you believe that when you like someones character, you are truly loving, then you are still caught in the „attraction-fear of loss- cycle“
Character also changes over time and is therefore part of appearance.
What another person truly is, is pure spirit.
The essence of true Love is a joining in Spirit. It’s a union of minds as One Mind. This union can be expresses (or „extended“ as A Course in Miracles calls it) in personality, bodies and form - but the form will always be changing. The essence always is.
True Love is beyond time and form.
This is not graspable by personal minds or brains. This is not a concept, but an experience. It can only be experienced through (and as) the heart.
There is no time in this Love, and with it, also space gets transcended.
It’s pure inspiration - which means to be „in spirit“.
You can feel it in art, music and writing, when they are inspired by a force beyond this world of form.
This, my friends, is the essence of true Love and if you always thought, that liking is loving, then I can only tell you:
And God thinks otherwise. (T-23.I.2.)
How is this Love expressed in the world of form?
Primarily through an acceptance of everything the other person appears to be and through forgiveness of all perceptions of differences, that are not yet accepted.
This is my definition of true Love and the essence of what is called a Holy Relationship in ACIM (as I have written about in my last article)
The moment you enter into a Holy Relationship, everything is healed.
All past hurts, all present insecurities and all future misunderstandings.
This healing enfolds over time, but happens actually in the Holy Instant - the moment, when two minds are joined as one.
And so it is done…
For my eternal Love:
Thank you for receiving me. Thank you, for daring to be loved and broken into a million pieces.
Thank you for being such a pure vessel for my Love and showing me, that giving and receiving are the same - in form and beyond.
Thank you for your Love - that is mine - and amplifying it a million times.
Thank you for being the embodiment of this true Love.
In eternal gratefulness and Love…
Atmos
Thanks for a great post, I always have / feel some skepticism towards posts on love and our creator etc since they truly are concepts that no brain can understand, states no word can convey.
Many do not start out with such an perspective, but you sure did and the post was very refreshing to read, moving and real :)
Peace!
Wow - thanks a lot - this means a lot to me! 🙏
Love it man! Truer word's couldn't be said.. That's why people fall in love with someone and a year or if that later, they say "you've changed!" and then they go seperate ways.
The world of forms is all we ever get told about and that leaves us completely limited and unable to grow and prosper.
Big love mate :)
You rock! Thanks a lot! ❤️
No, YOU Rock! ThankYou :)
True words! Love inded IS. Whenever I think back to the moments where I suddenly experienced these deep insights into Love, I cannot remember what exactly it was that let me have these epiphanies. I remember one day some years ago I had insights into Love, went out to the streets and thought: "wow, All is energy, all is Love."
I felt this very deeply in that moment, yet when I think back to that day I really cannot say what made me feel this so strongly. In hindsight it feels as if it was simply meant to happen at that time, allowing for the percolation of Light codes. There have been so many inner experiences, all worth a book each, and even one book alone can be written in manifold versions all equally exciting. This is why I too embrace those experiences which I had a very tough time with, because they are just more story in our treasure trove tales which we will mutually impart :)
Yes, these experiences are insights into the nature of the Divine and our brain can't get what is going on. It seems to take time to integrate, while at the same time (!) they are beyond time. 😀That's the nature of the mystery called life.
Thanks for sharing! 🙏
Very well said -- about the true concept of Love. Change is constant and the world has lots of its own definition of love. Each person struggles for what is true and right. Personally, I understand it more by experience. Your article says a lot but on point. Thanks for sharing. <3
Another fine article Atmos. How can we even begin to use these wholly inadequate tools called 'words' to capture the ineffible. Tis a tough task and perhaps the most pleasurable delight to rest within its arms with a light smile :)
Very sweeet!
Thank you! What I found yesterday while writing and then talking with my beloved about the article, that I somehow enter a holy space, where "I" become like a word-magnet, attracting the words in the space of love and using them as little gift-wrapping around quantum particles of love.
And yes, as Jesus describes the results of the course as "you smile more frequently and your forehead is serene..." ❤️
You are clearly tapping into something wholesome for your nice turn of phrase that feels welcoming rather that dictatorial, which is kind of helpful in this 'scene'. And of course it's such a pleasure to delve into the realms of Love!
So I just got to the point in I Am the Word where they talk about love and about being love and it really lines up with a lot of what your write about.
This is really similar to what they are saying, here's a quick excerpt:
Hoping to catch up to you on these topics ;) I'll be revisiting your blog here as I go, thanks for continuing to write.
Thank you @jakeybrown! I really missed you! ❤️
heartbreak can make it difficult to read a post on love but you have added meaning to the feeling "Love" and i must say i am glad i read your post
Yes, I know how this feels, believe me - and nothing I could say can make it better.
You said it correctly - Love is much more than a feeling of butterflies in your stomach - in the end, it's not even about one special person, but about the connection to the Divine in you.
Blessings and thank you for reading! 🙏
Wao, really true concept of love, sadly many people tend to misunderstand this primary subject and even misplace the value of the word. Thanks for sharing.
This is a very important post. I loved reading every bit of it. Love is what you make it, everyone can be loved, but they might not feel loved. It means a lot for you to make this post. I enjoyed it so much! Thank you!!!!!
Thank you for expressing your love and enjoyment! 🙏
woooow. I use to misinterpret true love. At first all that mattered to me was how the person appears and relates to me. I have a clear mind on this topic concerning love now. Thanks @atmosblack. Hope you're a true lover tho?