Surviving our Hearts
Wrapping up the day in the gardens on our small farm, I came to the stack of wooden boxes that house and conceal traps for varments – mice, voles and such. I needed to put them away, but not this day, too tired. However I did open the top box. A quick movement and glint of sun on whisker caught me by surprise. Alive !? No, just the warm June breeze gently lifting the whiskers of a mouse well caught and dead…but just barely. The aliveness in the fur and the whisker’s tender movement, it was as if the door on that small life had just closed.
I dropped the top back in place quickly, the momentary intrusion stunned me and broke my heart. Surprise! Now don’t get me wrong, farm life and death has steeled me to the hard realities. I’ve learned to kill those creatures that threaten my crops, threaten the food for quite a few people I care about. Even the ‘aw how cute’ chipmunk can fall to my ‘shovel to the head’ if the trap doesn’t do the job. Heartless. And necessary.
That night, well worn by a day of work I went to bed before my husband. It was his turn to stay up to close up the chickens for the night. Sleep eluded me as I heard the tv from downstairs talking about the future of humanity as cyborgs – the exciting marriage of machine/technology with our human bodies. WE WILL BECOME BETTER!… if I am to believe the voice standing between me and sleep. I rattled around in the bed, half disturbed by the notions of humans becoming smarter and stronger in the future. We’d be able to conquer the bodily frailties, maybe time itself and be ever so much more clever and inventive all the while…bigger, smarter, faster bombs. Finally I wrapped myself in enough blankets to shut off the troubling thoughts; my only comfort was knowing I’ll probably die before that day arrives.
Who do we humans wish to become? Smart to the point of brilliant. Strong to the point of invincible. Smart. Strong. Smart. Strong. Smart. Strong. All the answers instantly at hand and the indestructible hands to implement them. That’s all we need, right?
Wait a minute, what about the snowflakes? ‘Snowflake’ is a illustrative and apt descriptor for the highly sensitive, can collapse in a hot moment young generations of humanity coming on board now. They scream in their quiet way at us to consider the melting point of the heart…how vulnerably sensitive humans really are. The emotional us. The changeable, mercurial, feeling humans. Our core experience, whether we are aware of it or not. Under the callous, underneath the steeling we have all done in order to just plain survive. Under the never caught off guard pat patterns that have blinded us to believe that life is about being stronger, smarter or eternal.
Because the real us is so…vulnerable.
A friend once told me that the Egyptian hieroglyph for brain or maybe it was thinking, was the same as the hieroglyph for toy. Maybe that multi-thousand year civilization knew more of who we ultimately are than we do now; not simply brain/computer, not only body/dust, but underneath it all we are ultimately heart/soul.
Can we make good use of our toy, stretch the science to save us from our own hearts? Can we find the motherboard that teaches the heart how to open again in safety? Can we delete the rage, after backing up its energy to use for better purposes? Is there an app for compassion? A peripheral for patience? Can we be taught the technology of tenderness? Can the future humanity value the skill of well placed trust and wise vulnerability? Is there a chip that will translate bodily strength and mental brilliance into the appropriately used support team for our true emotional nature? Can we engineer ourselves to finally be fully human and humane?
Let’s be ready for the moments when despite our labored efforts, our hearts break through or break again. Surprise! This is who we really are. Let’s move toward a human condition that doesn’t require a tragedy in order to shine. Here is the real work of the future…to create a world where we can all actually become ourselves. Imagine…Smart, Strong & Caring… and Caring…and Caring…in other words, real.