In the Depths of my Thoughts
Never thought I could be heart broken by the same man over and over again. I told him I don’t give a fudge of them being together and when I saw pics of them in fb just now, it broke my heart. But I knew I should be happy for them, I should really be. And one day, I can look directly into his eyes without feeling a thing anymore. One day I really will. But before ending this story, I’d like you to see him the way I see him till now.
College is when I totally has this crush. He’s very smart, not funny, quite, who loves to sits at the back trying to be mysterious. I’ve mentioned him already in why him but I like to write something again now. He’s good looking. Really tho up till now. HAHA Guess I haven’t had enough of him. 😅 I didn’t know as on really why him but all I know is that it really felt different. I mean it never disappeared for years now. I’m pretty startled every time he looks at me. Was I that really obvious? I’m trying to hide it but I guess my facial expression doesn’t. I deny it all the time but it keeps getting stronger and then I really fell. Entirely and extremely fell. 😂😅
After grad, we separate ways. He had his gfs and I had my flings. I don’t know why I don’t have a relationship that lasted for years. It maybe because of me or idk haha so anyways, I was happy back then when he’s finally happy with someone else and after a long time of not seeing each other, I had to say that I think I finally get over him. That I totally forget until such time I heard some news that his having a baby. I was happy for him really but I know I was sad too. Can’t hide it but then when I saw him that happy when he was with his son, then I felt the same way. He’s a loving father by the way. You can feel that too.
I wanted to continue this but I think it isn’t necessary to say things. He’s never been married but I know one day he will be with the mother of his son. I just like to write something for him even though he won’t be able to read my stuffs here in my blog. It’s a good thing I guess but anyways, it’s what I wanted to say.
Dear you,
I know it’s stupid to still have feelings for you up till now. I don’t know when will I realize to stop this when in fact, I already lost or I never even had you. But so much for that, I wanted you to be happy. I couldn’t ask for more. Be happy with her and I know you will. Don’t do stupid things that you might regret coz you’re not young anymore Lol I’d rather not want to see you now coz I’m still hurt but one day I will. One day I can face you with no sadness felt but with joy because I see you happy now. I know she loves you really but I won’t compare it as to how i felt for you because we’re far different but as long as she feels that, you’ll be good. Hahaha but I hope you promise me one thing, never lie to me anymore coz it doesn’t feel right and I really value our friendship and I hope you do too. Anyways, that’s all. Stay happy and be happy. 😊
from.. me
To my readers, if there is Lol, I know it’s odd to write something like that here but I did coz I wanted to take it real out. I’m sad now and I need to ease that through writing and stuffs so I’m sorry if I take too much of your time but anyways, thanks much. Means a whole lot. Godspeed 💕
PS. Credits to the owner of the pic. 😉