How to recover your ex-partner

eduardogutierrez (29)in #live • 6 years ago

How to recover your ex-partner

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Today we want to contribute the valued results of research carried out in the USA, Mexico, Panamá, Costa Rica, Venezuela, Colombia and Chile, understanding the different cultures, “machismo”, feminism, values and customs present in each one of the countries, taking 11,500 clinical cases, where in this intro it is not intended to place a case in particular, but to show you conclusions from the case studies present in the investigation, taking as reference when a man wants to recover a woman.

When our partner breaks and moves away from us, it is important to know that in these cases you are not alone, and that there are hundreds of thousands of people in the world who are going through a situation similar or similar to yours. To be very painful, which many mistakes are made in trying to re-conquer that person so important to us, has noticed that as we do something to improve and we get closer to it, it is she who wants to get away and not wanting to be with us anymore, that is, we distance her and distance her more.

It is necessary before continuing that you know what;

Our brain does not understand sexual attraction and love as a whole.
We worry more about what we imagine, than about what is really happening or could have happened.
If we want something so much, it means that we are not ready to have it.
You can only get what you are willing to renounce.
You have to stop wishing that person so much", the question that comes up is how to do it.
The brain of women requires rewards.
We really want what we do not have", is a biological mechanism.
We value more what we do not have and we do not appreciate what we do have.
Do not obsess over what you do not have and value what you already have.
We are all part of a reward for someone, and for others we stop being one.

when going through a situation of "love break", so it is important to pay close attention to what really matters at this time to move forward, heal and be better with yourself. One of the keys is to "realize everything you have in life, what you are and can offer", as well as understand accepting the situation in which you find yourself, where aberrant things happen in the minds of some people such as "suicide" "Or" abandon oneself in human misery.

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Another important key is to know that "we all look for our own pleasure", so people tend to look for what they lost

Let's begin to understand that a woman really wants is not a man who loves her with madness, where she is the center of her uni-verse, what she really wants is a sexy man, sure of himself, a man capable of making decisions, that makes her feel that her dreams, fantasies, pleasures and existence are sure of that person, that is, women seek security, and man seeks to give protection.

Many times it is confused with the protection of a woman as a mother where it is perceived in the ho-gar, but the reality is that women pursue a man with a life of their own and that he feels proud of his own life, that he invites her to be part of it and give him the corresponding place as a couple. In this regard, they were able to account for the large differences, although it is perceived the same, I stress that the woman in the background does not want to be the center of attention (a vase, an inn) or be perceived as such, she he wants to be part of his partner's life in all his goals, actions, relationships and ties.

Before showing you the steps to recover your wife, based on the analysis of studies of 11,500 clinical cases of "love births", over the last 7 years, in 43 psychological and psychiatric care centers, through the use of various tools, applications, studies and technologies, where the biochemical, social, anthropological and psychological behaviors of the patients were studied.

It is necessary that you know some biochemical aspects of the behavior of the woman's brain and its difference with man, which are necessary to visualize some of the faults committed in the relation ship and formulate the strategies to recover it. First, there are differences between the brain of a man and a woman, surely you already knew, but how can this help you?

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Beyond modern feminism and other trends of fashion, men and women are not exactly the same, they are human rights, but from the biological point of view, evolution has endowed them with nervous systems different from those of men. Man to perform the necessary roles in the survival of the species, such as procreation. Now, if we know more about women, we will surely find behaviors of your ex-partner and negative situations that were formed by misunderstandings for not knowing or recognizing that women's brains have a lot of difference with men, for which;

The woman can focus on multitasking and the man is oriented to the specialization of tasks, although the man can certainly per-form many tasks and focus on some more specific than others, the truth is that the mental apparatus of man is more oriented to specialization, that is, that parts of each hemisphere focus on certain tasks.

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First you must really understand it; it will surely help you:

In the male brain, information is separated into groups or segments that are not necessarily related (from emotions, personal relation ships to work and professional content). In the female brain everything is linked as a system. That is why women tend to be holistic and can substitute sex for words or romantic actions, for planning, dreaming and concreting goals, that is, for facts and invitations that produce well-being and/or safety. That is to say, I am scammed, that the details in a woman are essential, as well as the concretion of dreams and goals.
In man, sight is the dominant function, the way in which most of the information enters the nervous system. In the females, all the systems operate together, like the blind, they have very developed the senses of hearing, smell and touch, but added to the vision. A woman likes to be talked to and above all, especially to be a listener and to have answers that connect to the thread of her conversation, which will be perceived as an acknowledgment that she cares about what she says.
While a man in the day speaks about 2000 words and at night his brain decreases that amount to few words, that is to say as - yes my love, not my love, or moving my head to accept or reject something, among others. In women, this does not happen the same, and it should be understood as a biological mechanism, where the woman is able to speak more than 20,000 words, so that if she did not have a day to talk with her partner, this means that, if you did not take a survey of this bio-logical factor, surely you were questioned many times in silence about yours partner. Women want to be heard to and know what you say, even if you feel tired, do not see the time, or gossip, gossip, etc.
Brain size also differs in with men and women; in men it tends to be a little larger. That does not mean they are smarter than women, in fact; scientists believe that the purpose of this expansion is related to the greater male muscle volume and not to the mental processes that are structured with greater complexity in women, with impressive skills of machining, matching, remembering and fore-casting situations conjugating past, present and future. In as many truths you were not involved in the mind of your ex-partner with-out it having cleared up completely.
Men have 20 times more testosterone in their bodies than women. Hence, the nervous system of man expresses more aggressive and domineering attitudes than women, hence, that sex by man is more desired from the physical point of view. Women are more delicate, and their mind seeks a sexual pleasure centered on sensuality and affection, where the senses play an important role to consider, with fantasies in multiple dimensions, many that surely never told you, nor did you notice, and of course you never let her know that it would come true.
In man the left cerebral hemisphere has a greater dominion. In the case of women, there is a balance in the use of both hemispheres, the left and the right. That is why in cognitive skills, we can observe that there is a greater tendency in men to be good in mathematics and calculation operations, while women have a facility for language, an activity that requires the use of several areas within of the brain.

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Map of the brain in purple

A team of experts has developed a map of the brain in purple, in which it has revealed the neuronal process by which human sexual desire becomes transformed into love and during which the same brain regions involved in addiction are activated. to drugs Far from looking like something healthy, what we call love is more like an addiction than a feeling, that is why you feel that you cannot live without it, that is, you need your medicine or your drug.

Now, what does this have to do with recovering my ex-partner, well I tell you a lot, why the region linked to sexual desire is usually 'turned on' when we perceive pleasant things, such as sex or food, while love activates an area involved in a process of condition, related to reward or pleasure, that is to say that as the sexual wish becomes love, the person goes on to process the in-formation about the couple in an area of the brain that stores the feeling of love, which is the same brain area where the information related to drug addiction is stored? Hence your attachment to not wanting to see other possibilities to overcome it other than your ex-partner and your addictive feelings resemble that of a drug addict.

You should read between the lines of the previous statement, that a part of a woman's brain is related to reward and pleasure. Women beyond everything you think you have already given her, she needs to know that you are one of her most precious rewards, and daily she needs to be rewarded, that's why she must be a retailer, because she is part of the rewards daily, and many times that re-ward is given in the cultural values, fashion and influences of friends or family members, who in some opportunities projected you as a person was meritorious for her, seen as a reward, or for the On the contrary, many times, the influences of those people let you tell your ex-partner that you were not a reward and that she deserved better rewards than you, of course not in this word, occupying another the meritorious need or opportunity as a reward. A reward for her.

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In this case your actions after the break were surely focused on reaffirming and aiming to reinforce that you are not their reward, but rather a headache or a problem that wants to leave.

Studies indicate that women use oxytocin more than men, the hormone of trust, which also increases their level with the look, smile, words, smell and dominates emotional empathy in them. On the contrary, men use vasopressin more, which potentiates testosterone and facilitates a more rationalized contact on contact, and increases the detection of erotic stimuli. " That is, the care of the denture, the smell well (not a woman or perfumed), the topics of conversation (in many places they are called "t takes time to find a girl like that.") are very important aspects in the re-knowledge of women.

"Falling in love is one of the strongest human feelings. It is a bond of attachment, that is, of love and desire for union, universal, strong and rooted, that binds lovers. " This link between two people is established by a double way:"attracting them, because before the beloved one, the emotional reward route that uses dopamine, known as the hormone of happiness, is activated and overcoming personal distances, when it is deactivated distrust, for what the positive neurotransmitter in social relationships uses, oxytocin, often called the confidence hormone.

Evolutionary psychologists who have been evaluating these cases of love breakup have long argued that the ability to end a relation ship and prepare for a new one can have clear advantages in terms of improving our ability to successfully reproduce. Alt-hough it is true that there are enormous cultural differences and even between different periods of history, which make it difficult to specify how this rejection module works.

Since men are more sensitive to the possibility of granting re-sources to another man's child, because of their protective nature, they are less likely to forgive "sexual infidelity."On the other hand, women are less likely to forgive"emotional infidelity,"as it ceases to be a "safe bet" in terms of support and security for them and their children to have it.
Although there is the "until death does us part", this type of link tends to be uncommon to reach agreement. Despite this, in many ways, ending a love, the story seems to be enough to overcome addiction to a drug (brain research confirms this.). Even so, the ex-change and change of partners seem to have become an important part of the human condition, which becomes increasingly visible.

When we say that we like or feel loved, our brain learns to segregate for itself a large quantity of substances that produce a state of acute ecstasy, which comes suddenly. These substances are oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine; elements that our brain constantly uses to a greater and lesser extent to make our neurons communicate with each other, when we notice the presence of the person we want, you are Microscopic particles flood large areas of our brain, completely altering the chemical balance of our mind.

Surely you expect me to tell you how to recover your ex-partner, but you have also realized that beyond the circumstances that led to the breakup with your ex-partner, you should have noticed that many of the causes are attributed to ignorance on your part in the functioning of the woman's brain, and that surely you have com-mitted faults that have accelerated that rupture.

Before answering, let's continue drawing the mental outline of the functioning of the woman's brain and you will see how the answers to recover it will come from the analysis of said behavior. For which, we are going to ask ourselves:
What parts of the brain are most affected by the master-pink break? Curiously, they are exactly the same ones that are more directly involved in the effect that drugs like heroin have on a hu-man brain, in the same area of storage of the reward system, that means that for us Ted the feelings that expose anxiety, pain, that it should only be her and only that person who cured the ills, are associated with mechanisms of dependence and rewards, where there is "no one who can replace it" is your drug. For her, you no longer represent a "reward" or provide "placer", rather rejection, where the most similar feeling you can store is "hurt" to a very low degree, as it is stored in memories.

Then, the brain of the woman who has been exposed to love ends the memories stored in an area whose experience of the moments that are shared with the beloved person are stored as if they were true vital milestones for future survival, generating the "Custom", hence the saying that "custom is stronger than love."

When we enjoy the moments shared with that special guide; we also get used to anticipating that these moments will be repeated and there occurs a process of fantasy with these situations receiving the reward of the company of the beloved in those moments, although it has not happened.

However, this new way of finding well-being in simple and everyday acts has a place in the brain of women that has been called "reward system", it is just what a woman experiences with her partner, the reason for the details, of goal-setting is so important to her, the purchases that are a major part of her reward system far more than sex, which comes as a post-purchase stage, as one of the highest pleasure points that the woman perceives, when this phenomenon occurs, which the cerebral activation reaches very high points of activity, that is, details, purchases and sex.

We repeat then, that just as the most addictive drugs can make all of our vital goals be reduced to the consumption of drugs in order to experience well-being again (even if it is fleeting), falling in love also creates a kind of similar dependence, With this affirmation, know that what you feel has a cure.

That is why, if after having fallen in love with someone, this per-son disappears or ceases to be as available as we had anticipated, we remain a time not only sad but unable to experience moments of significant well-being, situation that you experience in these moments.

It is well known that love is not experienced in the same way during the first months as during the rest of the relationship. At the beginning the moments together produce more intense and sudden "injections" of well-being ", whereas after a few years the situation is normalized, and this has to do with the neuroscience of love: it is a symptom that our brain has become accustomed to the presence of the other person and has managed to build a new chemical balance that offers stability to our nervous system when we are close to that person, that is why those chemical imbalances that takes away your appetite in some cases, or increases, hormonal, temperamental changes that you suffer from a rupture.

Somehow, our body has begun to take for granted that this situation will continue to be part of our lives and adapts to this so that our emotional life is not constantly swerving, something that would be exhausting and away from others But... Does this mean that the addiction to love is over? Not at all: if the love lasts, the effects of a distancing from the beloved person will bring back chaos and instability to the biochemical functioning of our brain. This is basically the duel that is experienced by losing a form of contact considered normal with a loved one.

Infidelity and fidelity have been investigated a lot; some statistics argue that around 60% of men and 40% of women who have monogamous relationships are sexually unfaithful and, normally, these adventures are hidden, both from the couple and from society.

Other studies, including one published by the American Socio-Associaton have shown that infidelity is not directly related to day-to-day dissatisfaction.

We must understand that relationships are no longer the same as they used to be, and there are room for more open ways of loving.

Let's look at it from this point of view: How old is our civilisation? And how old is this modem marriage model based on love and personal "fulfillment"? It seems to be less than 200 years since, up to this date, monogamous relationships were no more than a form of survival or "business" that sought to preserve the wealth of families.

Two centuries ago, it was practically impossible to live individually, but today it is. For the first time, marriage and relationships centered on monogamy are not necessary, so we could consider that with this model of monogamy based on romantic love we are living a kind of social experiment.

If the current marriage is based on something as fragile and the variable as romantic love could not we also assume that it is unstable? Biochemistry seeks to explain the matter. Our brain does not understand sexual attraction and love as an "everything." Different studies have proven that the neuronal circuits that activate sexual desire are found in a region of the brain called the "anterior insula" and another different mechanism lo-cated in the "posterior insula" is that, in some way, question to the feelings of love and allows us to select the person with whom we want to "commit ourselves".

We have been told that, in a relationship, sexual desire and falling in love always goes hand in hand, but the reality is that our brain has two different triggers for each of them.

PHASE

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Enragement, attraction or sexual desire phase: The brain releases two very potent stimulants: dopamine (substance related to euphoria and motivation) and norepinephrine (similar to adrenaline). They are chemical substances that activate our brain in the same way that cocaine could. This chemical cocktail helps us detect re-compensations (a sexual relationship) and act to get them. In this state, we experience exalted feelings that lead us to become obsessed with the other person.

• Stability phase (consolidated relationships): In people who are already in a relationship of commitment, loyalty and exclusivity where erotic desire is maintained, but personality is transformed into a more relaxed feeling, the brain. Releases oxytocin and en-dolphins. Substances that make us feel relaxed and in a state of well-being, trust and affection. Physical attraction decreases as we stop releasing dopamine.

Some people may feel disappointed to perceive how sexual passion decays as the relationship progresses, and see in infidelity a way to recover "the spark" and experience that euphoria again without breaking that stable sentimental relationship in which you are happy .

With sex we release dopamine and this substance has the ability to produce much more intense pleasure experiences than those typical of our day-to-day behaviors.

It is likely that the search for activation of this re-compensation system is related to infidelity. In fact, researchers from the University of Binghamton, New York, revealed that dopamine receptors (DRD4) may be the cause of infidelity. Is that things have changed a lot in a few years. In today's world, we are used to satisfyin' our needs quickly and accurately. Our society is very focused on individualism, freedom and personal fulfillment.
Today, we choose our friends, our career, we have Internet access, we travel, we live in big cities, we go to university and we usually have different couples until we take the step of getting married... Why, even if we have a stable sentimental relationship, we are go-ing to renounce the pleasure generated by having sexual relations with new people, like full love, which exists in the subconscious stored in our reward system, that is to say - I have the right to ex-perience new emotions that generate rewards Pleasure.

• Although monogamy and love in sexual exclusivity are still the behavior that has more followers, more and more people defend or practice a more open way of understanding senti-mental relationships. And new trends appear that propose a different way of understanding fidelity.

• Relationships are not like the fairy tale they once told us. So: why do we insist on denying the evidence? Does sex always have to involve love? Does love always imply sexual fidelity to a single person? It seems that the future can point towards more open sentimental relationships. Our brain is not programmed for sexual fidelihood because it is possible that it is a modifiable cultural conditioning.

• Now with everything explained above we will walk through some stages in the process of separation of the couple that you must be going through.

• It is important to say that not everyone has to go through one of them, because there are many factors that can affect the process of separation and there are multiple ways to deal with it depending on the personality of each one, social or family support, etc, however, these stages are very common in the majority of people who go through this situation:
Disillusionment: It is the first phase in which the couple, who start small conflicts that do not end up resolved and this leads to a greater distance between you. You begin to fantasize about the idea of a possible divorce, definitive separation, absolute loss of that person, where you do not value the pros and cons of such an option, where the orgullo, and the construction of mental schemes staging situations based in suppositions it is the most damaging element of that phase, because you invent "monsters with a thousand heads" that do not exist or at least not as big as you imagine them, or you simply configure stories that "seek to distance reality of what is happening as a cause of separation. " In the case of her, the process occurs on the contrary as she begins to fantasize about new reward systems in the present and their future, where a set of comic strips linked to the storage of memories is also configured, which seek to provide"excuses"that eliminate any vestige of"remorse" for the position taken.

• Instability becomes manifest: it manifests itself in emotions such as anxiety, doubts, fears, anger, sadness, which are perceived by the environment.

• Shock stage: At this moment you realize that your ex-partner has the firm decision not to continue with you, and the chemical imbalance invades your senses, where the need to worry about what you imagine what are the reasons for the true reasons.

• Contempt: At this stage you begin to "ask", "beg", or letting you see that "you want to be with her", "without her you can not live", where imprudence is committed even at the expense of "human dignity" " On the contrary, she sees in the person with contempt that even comes to a sense of disrespect or recognition for the person, with "humiliations" that puts in doubt the moral capacity of "man", many give in the "manhood". It is to denote that it is seen as "hate" with feeling of superiority and bitterness.

• Constant criticism: In this stage the questioning of its truth becomes a routine, because the brain requires that the memories that generate custom and ties are not seen as a reward, but are stored in places different from pleasure, which is perceived as a way to hide any "remorse."

• "Ice law"; in this phase, he does not talk much to you; he looks for a way to erase you from his contacts, among other things, and it is here that he starts to take you out of his life, throwing away any key that opens the memories in memory, that makes it waver.

• "Putting yourself on the defensive": at this stage she seeks to protect herself from you, with reactions before her time, with a scene of conflicts, as an everyday way, that she really seeks to justify her attitude, so that there is reasoning that al-lows you to think about the possibility of returning to your partner, it is a defense mechanism to justify yourself.

• In the case of divorce: An evident emotional and physical distance of the members begins, feelings such as anger, sad-ness, guilt or concern for the children or family. It is a peri-od of anguish and great instability due to the possible existing pain and the uncertainty of a new future that will repair the children without their presence, which goes into despair. In addition, it is the moment where it is made public, which will entail the reaffirmation of the decision, and you perceive the situation as "humiliation". It is a particularly com-plicated fa and especially when they depend on factors such as the way in which all divorce proceedings will be dealt with, whether the separation is mutually agreed or not, the regime of visits with the minors, the maintenance, etc.

• Your dreams are over; this is where their projected dreams disappear, and good moments lose meaning and all this can lead us to feel anger and anger for what is happening, as well as a great sadness and even depression for not having been able to avoid it. In other cases you can even get to feel joy because the bad times, the criticism, the insults, etc. they will disappear from our lives.

• Increase in acceptance of what happened: The person begins to accept that the relationship was not completely healthy, that there were problems, he begins to readjust his life, once again exercising control over it and begins little by little to create a new independent self, with new plans and projects, either alone or with a new partner.

• Although the emotions are not positive yet and we continue to find ourselves sad, everything begins to take on a new perspective and the emotions of anger, hatred or guilt begin to be modified by explanations more in tune with reality.

• New life: This new stage can take even years to arrive, but in it our past has ceased to be the daily protagonist, our former partner takes a secondary position not destabilizing us emotionally and we are able to visualize a future with hope and motivation. It has been accepted what happened, we have changed our role and our emotions have a much lower intensity because of what happened and we have managed to establish new reward systems.

Now we come to what you expected, but first you should know that in the early stages some mistakes that we frequently make with our partners:

You may think that your ex-wife is the most incredible woman in the world, or on the contrary for having broken up with you "is the worst woman in the world". But there are some common things that even the best men do, causing the woman they love to feel unattractive and begin the stage of establishing another re-ward system:
Stop appreciating or noticing your efforts
Your opinion is the one she values most. She needs to know that you think she is the best in the world, both during the moments when she makes an extra effort (that is, she stays up late helping the children even though she will be the first to get up in the morning. ), and the days when she is sick in bed. If you are not noticing out loud how beautiful she is, she will most likely inter-prest your silence as a disapproval.
Praise another woman with words you've never used with your wife
If you mean another woman saying she is so cute that it is impossible not to look at her, and you have never used this type of prayer to describe your wife, this will be devastating for her. She knows that you find other attractive women, and in general, she agrees with that. But when you give a compliment with so much emphasis to another woman, your wife feels as if that other woman is the one you would like to have, and she does not even come close to him. Your comments may be innocent, but it is a dagger in the heart of your partner.
You watch pornography
Nothing will make your wife feel more desperate and inadequate than watching pornography. A study by Fight The New Drug showed that after men have been exposed to pornography, they reported feeling less love for their partner, and become more critical about the physical appearance of their partner, his sexual performance and displays of affection. There should never be room for this in a relationship with menus that is shared and even then the subsequent results are reflected in feelings, altering the re-wards systems, where many times camera tricks can leave flashes in the storage of rewards that are projected in the future.
Do not start a hug or a kiss
The retention of physical affection, except when you want to have intimacy, makes your wife not feel wanted or desired. Try kissing your wife on the forehead one night and tell her you love her. If you do it just because you love her, without expectations of having sex later, she will feel beautiful and adored.
Look twice at a woman who passes near you
We know that men are designed to notice and appreciate beauty, but please, learn not to look like that. Similarly to the reasons that are explained when exaggerated words are used to appreciate the beauty of another woman, you can understand how deeply you hurt your wife when you do this. (And believe me: She realizes, even when she does not tell you anything).
You look away when she is talking to you
Making eye contact with your wife when she is talking to you, sounds simple, but it is a common problem. If you're checking your phone while she's talking, she'll start to wonder what's wrong with you - even if you're just watching the outcome of the game. Couples who have a conversation with a telephone in the middle reported less trust in their partner and lower quality in the relationship, according to a study by the University of Essex. Remember what I told you, biologically women can speak up to 20,000 words and they need to be listened to and pay attention, and that she sees as a reward in the day.
Help her to feel beautiful, giving priority to her in her profile on Facebook. To be fair, feeling beautiful is complicated, and only you can convince her that she is beautiful. Your partner can develop their internal trust; but you can do so much to harm her as to make her invincible.

Now, as expected, we go to the steps to recover your former partner

Stay distanced from her, give her space, do not feel over-whelmed by you. If as you see it, you must create the conditions so that the memories, the comparisons and begin to see again in you the reward that she must have.
Take care of your self-love, you must love yourself (a eye is not believing more than others, falling in love with yourself or feeling that nobody is equal to us), is accepting yourself as one is, is accepting the situation that you are living, is accepted as an authentic person, with much potential and that is a reward of the highest value for another woman. If you do the opposite, she will see that she did not really deserve to have a reward like you would in contrary conditions.

3.Create your own life, leave home, organize activities that you like, such as practicing a sport, taking a course, doing things that you enjoy, that does not mean that you have to "be drunk or in bars, etc.", is that you manage to organize your life, your dreams, goals and your personality to achieve it, not doing what you were doing in the same way.

Do not change the positive values that are in you, on the contrary, you should reinforce it and show it not as a symptom of weakness, that you see the human side that is in you, regardless of whether you pass through the initial stages of contempt, ice law, etc., you must show the authenticity and those values that have been part of you, and for which she once perceived it. Many people turn relationships into hos-tels, giving them reasons to justify separation.
If you know you have someone else, do not criticize or of-fend them, much less do scenes to them, I know that it will cause you to grab them both and you will surely think that the fault of all was that new person who interposed in you, remember how the woman's brain works, and you realized that the flaws were on this side more than hers, so the inten-tion is not to lose it but to recover it, so as a computer, she has it to he as a recompense and you do not, then showing hostile will not help, you must show yourself as a mature person, that you surpassed that very quickly and show your-self with positive values as well as pro-jected as whatever happens will count on you from your protection and securi-ty, that if you do badly you will be there, not as a second one, because you should let him know that your hope is good, because you will have your reward.
After the distance as part of the recovery, you should let him know that you failed because of ignorance, because of ignorances, that this is well understood, and that he knows not that you are repentant, but that you know that they are taken into account, where you ask for an apology for ignorance of not having understood their needs and feelings, at the same time letting them know that you will not get a friend, no, but in you will have a protector, where joy, positivism, values should flourish in every subsequent attitude with her, al-ways keeping the distance, a lot of distance, not calling it, or keeping it online in WhatsApp, etc.
A secret to attract not only that person, but many more people, is to create a magnetic life, have magnetic beliefs and create a new reality that allows you to enjoy that life. That is, being polyvalent is what will allow you to generate a torrent of emotions with the people you interact with, to be unpredictable, to be that kind of person who brims with success and everyone wants to be close. For which, you must treat it with great respect, as never before have respected them.
Likewise, treat her as she expects to be treated and that you will surely know, in the same way do not obsess over them or reflect that you are, that you feel that she strips you of what hurts you or does not feel good to you, keep a smile and see you nice and do not look feigned, there is nothing that pleases a woman to see the man strive to be better every day focused on pleasant things that generate pleasure, comfort and happiness and spiritual stability.

The moment you have a magnetic life and create a new reality, in that moment you will attract that woman who at some point left you and did not want to be with you anymore and lost her interest in you, she will want to belong You need to be in your life and most rewarding, you will say "no thank you" why now you will have many options where it is very likely that she will not be your best option and you will become the best option for her.