The meaning of "AWEROR"

Sometime last summer I realized I didn’t have a word to explain something that I often felt.
There were too many times in my life where, for example, I saw a musician play their ass off, and I left the performance feeling like I simultaneously wanted to quit playing all together, and go home and practice for the rest of the night.
I was in a state where my protons and electrons were flying in two different directions.
I was in total awe, and completely horrified by the things I had witnessed.
After some verbal drag-netting, the research and development area in my brain decided to settle in on the word ‘AWEROR’ to describe this feeling.
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