Find the reason from yourself first

Some people say that in this world, the strong are good at finding reasons from themselves, and the weak are used to finding reasons from others. I think it makes sense. The most important thing in life is introspection and self-knowledge. Finding the reason from yourself first can solve many problems in life and dispel many troubles in life.
A girl worked as a waiter in a restaurant. On her first day, she accidentally broke a cup. The lobby manager wanted to deduct it from her salary. The girl retorted with a mouthful: "it's not my fault that the cup was too slippery and didn't hold steady on my first day." nearly a month after she was hired, she ordered the wrong food for the guest. When she was criticized again, she still mouthed: "the guest spoke too fast, I didn't hear clearly, I don't blame me."
Until once, the girl's relatives came to the store for consumption. Without the consent of the manager, she paid the bill from the back kitchen without authorization, and gave her relatives a big discount when she paid the bill. When the manager asked about it, she said disapprovingly, "they are all my relatives. I can't be impersonal." the manager didn't say anything, but from then on, she didn't entrust important things to her.
In fact, such examples are not uncommon in life. After some people make a mistake, what they think of at the first time is not how to correct it, but how to find an excuse for themselves: if the work is not done well, the company is unreliable; If the relationship is not good, there are problems with colleagues... Over time, not only can not change the current situation, but also deepen the contradictions with the people around.
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I have heard such a saying: "if you look for problems from yourself, you will get through it; if you look for reasons from others, you will go crazy." it is a valuable cultivation for a person to find reasons from yourself, find and solve problems first. However, looking for problems from yourself does not mean criticizing yourself for everything. In this life, it is impossible to achieve perfection in everything. If it is your own fault, try to correct it. If it is not your own fault, you should learn to let go of yourself.
After watching a video, an IT engineer wanted to go to a big city to see a bigger world because of his small achievements in his hometown. Unexpectedly, life in a big city is far from as smooth as she imagined, because there are too many excellent people around her, and the pressure of competition often makes her out of breath.
Gradually, she began to feel inferior and felt that she would be laughed at no matter what she did; The physical condition also deteriorated sharply, and began to suffer from insomnia and overeating. Fortunately, her friend comforted her in time: "it's not your fault. You feel anxious because you want to become a better yourself, but you can't torture yourself and amplify the pain." later, she figured it out and slowly came out of the negative emotion.
Maybe there will be such moments in our life. Some people will feel that they are not hard enough, some people will feel that they are not beautiful enough... Constantly explore their shortcomings and doubt whether they are good for nothing. But it ignores that one can't satisfy everyone, so you don't have to worry about every detail all the time. Sometimes, in the face of shortcomings, it is also an ability to let go of yourself and recognize deficiencies.
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In life, how to treat yourself and how to deal with problems is really important.
Learn to treat people and things modestly and analyze problems from different angles; In case of trouble, find reasons from yourself. If you have something, change it, and if not, encourage it. With this attitude, we can not only make our life more peaceful, but also calm a lot of restless emotions.
There is still a long way to go in life. May you have the courage to move forward and the calmness to step back; May you have a future to go and years to look back.