Unlock your emotional genius

Psychologists are not sure how to define intelligence. Even after a century of debate about what is and how to measure it, we still have a wide range of theories and ways to evaluate this elusive human quality. More importantly, psychologists do not yet have strong evidence to show that intelligence is important to improve the quality of our daily lives. Forrest Gump may provide the best fictitious example, at least, of someone whose test scores placed him well below average in intelligence, but whose enjoyment of life and success were unquestionably high.

However, we do not need to resort to fiction to justify the idea that the IQ, as traditionally defined, is not necessarily related to the ways in which people measure success and happiness in real life. Even those who claim that superior intellectual performance is vital to success in life, such as British psychologist Graham Jones (2012), are not limited to IQ scores. According to Jones, who interviewed the best athletes, executive directors, military leaders and doctors, superior intellectual performance involves knowing how to use the skills you have, not just having those skills. There is no use having a brilliant intellect if you can not work within the limitations of your environment or be motivated to use your brilliance to the fullest. This study, like the theory of "Successful Intelligence" proposed several years ago by the psychologist Robert Sternberg (2009), makes it clear that intelligence is more than book intelligence.

Successful intelligence requires that we know how to improve our intellectual performance. Sometimes this means simply having common sense or "street intelligence". Successful intelligence also involves having "emotional intelligence," also called "IS," which consists of reading the feelings of people and their own.

With EI high, you can succeed in many areas of your life. Your close relationships can benefit from knowing how to read people's feelings, regulate their own emotions (especially anger) and understand what they feel and why.

EI is moving to the front and center of corporate boardrooms, where it is becoming the latest buzzword for leadership. Organizational psychologists are discovering that leaders should have the ability to understand social interactions and solve the complex social problems that arise in the course of office life. From the resolution of disputes to the negotiation of agreements of great power, business leaders must be able to read the signals of others, as well as understand their own strengths and weaknesses.

Now that we have changed a thorny problem (definition of intelligence) for another (definition of leadership), let's look closely at why good leaders need to be able to read the emotional tea leaves of their workers, if not their competitors.

Current theories of leadership define great leaders as those who show transformative qualities. Transformative leaders can act as models that inspire other people for their vision of change. They have charisma, promote creativity and innovation, develop an environment in which their workers feel supported and transmit ambitious goals to their workers (Cavazotte et al., 2012). In other words, a transforming leader is the ideal boss. It's easy to see why part of the formula for becoming a great leader is that you have emotional intelligence.

The qualities of a transforming leader are also valuable in your personal life. If you ever had to organize your family or friends to do some cleaning or plan an event, know that the best way to get people to do things for you is to show these qualities. He wants others to admire him, to be inspired by his vision and feel that he supports them.

Having a greater emotional intelligence can help you in almost any interpersonal situation in which it is important to read to others and plan your actions accordingly. When it comes to intimate relationships, you can similarly benefit from the qualities of the transforming leader. People who love you may also be the most forgiving of your mistakes, but they will also appreciate more the ways in which you can inspire them to feel optimistic and successful.

Understand and express your own emotions. People with this skill know how they feel before other people.

• I have a good idea of ​​why I have certain feelings most of the time.

• I have a good understanding of my own emotions.

• I really understand what I feel.

• I always know if I'm happy or not.

• Perceive and understand the emotions of those around you. This ability means that you are sensitive to how others feel.

• I always know the emotions of my friends for their behavior.

• I am a good observer of the emotions of others.