My Journey: Becoming Enlightened

It's late in the night, I don't even know why I feel the way I do right now. A little background about myself; I'm 22 years old, 5'9, and 143.3 pounds. I'm also currently a student studying economics and have a desire to work in the financial world.I like the field of economics, its interesting and has a lot to teach us about how humans interact when they come in contact with certain decisions about how to spend money and how economies work. I'm not the biggest capitalist in the world, but money makes the world go round and makes our lives easier in many ways. But like Biggies Smalls said "Mo money, mo problems." School is the easy part for me, I apply myself more than most students at my college and my grades demonstrate that. I also tutor at my college and have an internship I'm also doing. I have come a long way since last year being at my lowest. Shit, I can't even describe how shitty I felt, how much desire I had to not live, granted that at times death seems like a more peaceful choice. My confidence back then was low, my body was looking bad, and I was not using my full potential. For reasons like that I started to read more, spending all of January of this year (2017) reading at least 3 books a week. I felt inspired by some of the readings, the fictions drew me in and gave me different perspectives and the non fiction books about topics in finance, economics, and science widened my knowledge about topics that I never though I would like. So much beauty and pain can be shared through written works. I'm writing this because I want to share my experience and my journey in enlightenment. There is a dilemma to this, how can I ever be enlightened when I feel that one can never truly know what that feel like, knowing that state is in my opinion not possible. I want to share all my experiences on this site that someone will find useful; they can range from diet, fitness, book recommendations, drug advice and anything that I struggle with that someone is also struggling with.