When Life Fucked Me For The First Time!

It was January 4 of the year 2012, I had a very pleasant winter holiday as my sister and my nephew came to Pakistan to spend the holidays with us. I still remember that day as it happened yesterday, it was the day I got suspended for hitting my class mate’s “balls” (testicles).

That day, life gave me two warnings, to warn me of the consequences that I was going to face if I embarked on that path; but due to my stupidity and carelessness I didn’t foresee that warning and faced the consequences altogether. That day, I remember it was a foggy day, the day our school opened after the holidays. The pain on waking up after ruining your momentum is a very big issue; not just for me but for everyone. I remember my mom slapping me twice, each harder than the previous one, just to wake me up.

Let’s be honest, it’s quite hard, doing the routine of taking a bath, changing your clothes to your school clothes, wearing your “Black” shoes and then eating your breakfast; all before the bus comes and you have to run in order to catch it. But that day was different, my mom gave me a “present”, A Metal Flask.

Yes, you’ve heard right, a shiny blue-red colored metal flask. Gosh, I always wished that I never took that present. I reached at my school late, which resulted in me and a whole bunch of other students to get a lecture from Mr. Moses (our volleyball sir).

Me and my friend Safiullah,

are always late and getting a lecture from Mr. Moses had become a habit. “Listen boys (heavy Malabari accent), this habit of yours can’t continue on this term”, I stood there trying to hold my laugh for as long as I can. Economics class; our second class of the day, was the time I received my first warning. It was during the in-class break, we had, where my metal flask was getting attention all around the class. People started joking around if my stick was as hard as the flask, I would be dating girls right now. And there, that moment I took out my flask; in a hitting posture in front of Sagar (another classmate), I was going to hit him; I swear. But what he said stopped me right there, “Don’t do this stupidity, it could land you in a very difficult position”. First warning. It was break time! Our most cherished time just apart from the scorching heat and extreme humidity. We all decided to play cricket, right, cricket… in the heat. If you want the people to know you and respect you, you got to be there with them. That’s the line I created. Again, right again, the billionth time I was getting bullied.

They took my things from my bag, all of them running in different directions, which got me so pissed. “My flask!” I screamed, running towards Safiullah, who was running in one direction. I caught up to him, took the flask and then I did something I shouldn’t have done. The rage made me hit Safiullah testicles with the metal flask. Bang! The sound I heard when I did it. The metal flask pinching the flesh, not a place to be in.

There is a time factor, the first seconds are the worst. The pain starts positioning itself from the tip. Swish! That’s all I remember, from being punched by Zaid, (Safiullah’s best friend) at my face. Scorching pain reached my cheeks immediately after the hit. I remember, I ran for the assembly as the break was about to end. Slight blood coming from my lips, but that was not bothering me at that time. The feeling was awful, thoughts were ramming into my mind; “what have I done”, “What will happen now”. Sitting on the floor with my hands above my head, I wanted all this to stop, I wanted to press the reverse button so I could change this situation. “It’s OK” that’s what I heard while sitting down on the floor. It was Safiullah, he came to me and said it's OK with 15 minutes left for the break to end, I was sitting with the rest of my class, all tired and dehydrated. The plastic bottle came out of nowhere. Everyone started throwing the plastic bottles at each other and trying to hit each other testicle with the empty plastic bottle. I didn’t know what was wrong with me that day. I took out my metal flask to play with them. Bang! I hit Sarie’s (another classmate) testicles. I screamed “Maine Kya Kardia! (What have I done!?)”, my hands above my head, my eyes bulging out, my face looking with regret.

Really, I just wished the floor would just open and I bury myself in it. I am dead. I knew it. There is no saving me from this. Not from the state he was in. He was rushed to the clinic. To the clinic! It was that serious. I remember standing outside the clinic hoping to see him and apologize for this, so everything could be back to normal. My shirt was pulled with little force by Mr. Moses, “You are in deep trouble boy. I hope you have a justification for this. You are going to the headmaster”. Sitting with all the thoughts rushing through my mind, my heart was too fast, I thought I was going to die with high BP. I couldn’t hear any voice of the people in the room. There was someone shaking my body, “Bilal! You can go in now”. I looked at her, the receptionist, hoping that she would say: just kidding, you can go home. But no. I opened the door. There, sitting right in front of me, the man who was going to ruin my future. “What have you done!” He slammed the table. I didn’t even once look directly in his eyes, so filled up with regret. “You… Suspended” that’s all I could hear that got tears in my eyes. Most people believe in second chances, but not third.
This situation changed my life in many ways, it made me think twice before embarking on literally doing anything. I became very careful in literally everything I did, from speaking of doing physical tasks. It made me believe that life will give you these tests, it’s seeing how you live up to them and how you transform them to your strengths.

(The man who ruined everything)