Why we shouldn't delete people from Facebook without reason

Summary

• We delete people from Facebook for a variety of things, sometimes those reasons are very small.
• A person who has been deleted may make them feel rejected, worthless and excluded.
• This will be an issue if we need to forge a working relationship with this person, and because of removing them from Facebook, we have unintentionally hurt them.
• If this happens, talk to the person and mention you did not intend to hurt them
• In the future, make a public post you will cull your friends list a week before you do it, so people who are culled know it is not a personal rejection.

Introduction
Most of us have looked through our Facebook profiles and wondered why we have these people on our Facebook list. Whether we met them at a party once, went to school with, work colleagues, family members or even boss, we will often run the risk of long term damage for short term gain, Facebook will support up to 5,000 friends. This blog will consider why we delete people from Facebook, aftermath of deleting people from Facebook, the consequences of deleting people from Facebook and what to do if you want to delete people from Facebook.

Why we delete people from Facebook
There are many serious reasons why people will delete someone from Facebook (this also includes blocking people)

• That person hurt you in some way
• That person has hurt someone you know
• They are a Nigerian Prince
• That person is your ex
• That person is a creep (girls, we know these people)
• That person is someone random you have never met

However, there are other reasons why people delete others from Facebook that are not so serious

• Disagreeing with their point of views in politics
• They spam posts of life fulfillment
• You have only talked to them once
• They were once work colleagues
• You have not spoken to them in ages
• Nobody cares about Facebook
• You no longer talk to them

However, what are the consequences of deleting someone from Facebook?

Aftermath of deleting people from Facebook
Your Facebook profile is yours to change, and you can do whatever you want with it. But just because it is yours, does not mean there are unintended consequences of what you do with it.

Everyone reading this has either been unfriended or has unfriended someone. Most of us who have unfriended people because of the second list of dot points, we generally would not care too much about that Facebook friendship.

But to those people we have been unfriend, it can be seen straight up as rejection. It can be seen as a personal rejection because we have to go through the menus and to the person's profile, then check a few boxes that makes sure you want to delete that person as a friend. Essentially, we made the effort to remove them from our Facebook.

Regardless of whether it is personal or not, unless there is an explanation, the person who was deleted may think the worse of it. Because there has been no explanation, the person deleted will assume they were deleted because it was someone rejecting them as a person, not wanting them in their life even as a digital profile.

The same goes for rejecting a Facebook request (i.e. cold rejection). Not accepting someone's Facebook request be a rejection of them as a person. This can bring about feelings of rejection, unworthiness and exclusion. Depending on the person, these can be small or very large feelings of rejection.

Large feelings of rejection are especially true if the person deleted admired us for something. Whether it was the funny post we make, a place we traveled to, going through something together (eg. A music festival or a class) or how well we listened to them and made them feel special in a conversation that one time we met.

We have traits that they have wanted to aspire to. For example, to be more adventurous and travel, to socialize more or take up that hobby we told them we do. We may even find some people we deleted from our Facebook friends admired us, because we brightened up their day once with a silly picture we took with a funny joke in the caption.

Unfortunately, these people, we may have turned into adversaries.

Consequences of deleting people from Facebook
If you delete someone from your Facebook without a specific explanation for them, either as a general post or a Facebook message, then you are taking an unnecessary risk.
The risk is, if that person ever comes back into your life in some way, they may not cooperative depending on how much that person was hurt by them finding out we deleted them.
If you are in a position where you do not have to forge a relationship between them, then you may have dodged a bullet. Seeing each other at a bar, being in a line, them serving you in a restaurant or even just walking by are examples where this can happen.

But what if you are in a position where you must forge a relationship with that person?

• What if that person is part of a work team you need to work with to complete a task at work?
• What if that person is friends with someone you like, and would have otherwise been a good person to help introduce you to them?
• What if you need to find customers or sponsors for your business and they happen to be the person you need to talk to get sponsorship?
• What if you need to get a loan from a bank, and they are the person you need to get the loan for, how much are they willing to help you with that loan of they’ve been burnt by your actions?
• Or worse, what if that person is your boss or the person who decides if you will be employed in the company you apply for.

These may not be everyday events, but are events nether the less events that may come up in our life. Deleting someone from Facebook may mean, we may need to forge a relationship between someone who has been hurt by us, even if we had no intention of doing so

One thing to also not is the real power of a friendship is introducing someone to friends of friends. Some of these meetings may not lead to much, but others may lead to new friendships, relationships or business opportunities. Deleting people like this at will is limiting the chance of these possibilities from happening.

Solution
If you find ourselves in this position where we need to forge a relationship with that person, then I would suggest we address this with that person by.

• Talk with them
• Tell them why you deleted them from Facebook
• Make sure you mention that you did not have any intention of hurting them or making them feel bad. Even if you did not like this person at the time, it is always best to have a clean slate when trying to forge a relationship.

Do not forget, Facebook account may be a social account, but is our public account. Facebook, to a lot of people, is one thing people will base our character on, and how we act on that account. It is similar to why we dress nicely for a date, people judge based upon what you are wearing, because there is nothing else to go on. You may think that is shallow, but that is life, human beings are initially shallow and will always judge others.

What to do if you want to delete people from Facebook

• If our friendship has deteriorated to a certain point (eg. We are fighting or being used), then deleting should be no problem. We can use the first set of dot points as a guide.
• If we are going to do a cull, at least announce it on Facebook and give a reason a good week before you do it. At least people will get a heads up and know it is not personal. It may be a good idea to make this public, so people who were culled can see why you culled them, and if it was not personal, they can see that in your message. For example, a friend of mine found out her pictures were taken from her Facebook and used on the internet in a website dealing with sexual exploits. She then announced on Facebook that she may be deleting some people due to the incident.

Some people we may find are annoying, or are strangers to us. However, these people have feelings as well. Some of them may keep us added, because knowing they are accepted, even with something as small as a Facebook request, can make them feel like there is a reason to keep living even if we are only there as a picture and a link.

Sources
Laura 2014, 'Deleting Someone on Facebook: Smart or Immature?', Collegegloss, retrieved 2 July 2017, http://www.collegegloss.com/2011/08/deleting-someone-on-facebook-smart-or.html.

Osborne, H 2013, Deleting Facebook Friends "Has-Real-World Consequences', International Business Times, retrieved 2 July 2007, http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/facebook-unfriend-delete-friend-real-world-consequences-431599.

Sandell, S 2016, 'I Regret Removing Friends From Facebook During a Random Facebook Cleanse', Huffington Post, retrieved 2 July 2017, http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/sofie-sandell/facebook-friend-cleanse_b_8893428.html.

Stranges, J 2011, 'The Thing About Deleting A Facebook Friend', Thought Catalog, retrieved 2 July 2017, http://thoughtcatalog.com/jennifer-stranges/2011/10/the-thing-about-deleting-a-facebook-friend/.