Friends - Blog 5 Apr 2018

I have this friend I knew in high school. I only just started talking to her again on facebook, she's the 0.5 friend I was talking about in my other posts... haha I probably shouldn't say she's 0.5, coz she's a nice person and a good friend. I think I messaged her waaay too much over the last few days as I'm a bit socially deprived. Maybe I did too much coz she stopped responding after a while, which is fair enough.
Last year, I deleted my entire facebook account, every post, every reply, every like, so there was no trace of me left and then deleted (not deactivated) the account.
It was easy for me to give up because I was already mad at almost everyone I had ever known, for no real reason, except I guess I was just sick seeing mums complaining about being mums, teachers complaining about being teachers. People getting offended for other people and Christians compromising their core beliefs to satisfy popular opinion.
I also didn't like the fact that you could keep up to tabs with people you knew without saying one word to them which seemed to be what facebook was for me. Then hearing how evil facebook actually is and how its designed to get you addicted to it and how it manipulates your way of thinking by censoring certain opinons and then allowing your information to be farmed it just didn't seem worth it

I only made a new account (with very little of my personal information on it) because I had found myself with absolutely no one to talk to and after adding my husband to my friends list, I guess I wanted to see if anyone I had been friends with previously would notice and try to reconnect. So far 2, which is actually nice coz I figured it would be 0. When I deleted it I was in a state where I wanted to bury myself and be left alone all while crying out "NO ONE CARES!" and I realise now that I pushed people away and then in my mind accused them of not caring. So I do know it's my fault I lost all of my friends. Keeping friends is not something I'm very good at, I think maybe it's because I expect more from them than what I give them. Like if someone asks me how I'm going and what I've been up too, I often forget to ask them how they are. It's something I need to work on.