The 8 Stages of Process - Part 1, "The Self-Deceiver"
(1) The Self-Deceiver.
- Self-Deceivers are those that design deliberately, systems within which they have Complete Control and Benefit and where they trap people through the written word, legal word, into these systems and make sure that they believe it unquestionably, so that they remain in control of the System. So the Elite, Illuminati and so on, falls in the level of the Self-Deceiver - also those that write the religious books and get followers from that perspective, all within the realm of Self-Deceivers. They are presenting Humanity as an existent force that is “faulty,” and has no Opportunity or Means to Ever be anything more than “Completely Fucked.” Okay?
Reflection
I never really wanted to see this aspect of myself. The fact that I could be the controlling and manipulating dude that is so righteously self-entitled to having things be perpetuated that are totally fucked because I am the one exercising the control. I am the one leveraging the words and trapping people. It's not pretty.
Common sense math is massively compromised in the very posturing position as the view of yourself and so the world
It's this, "RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION" that is completely suppressed.
So - it's like a real fucker of a position because you believe you are Superior, and you utilize your superiority to royally fuck others into submission. Ironically - not realizing how critical you are to fucking things up and perpetuating this massive fuck up here.
You could actually with the resources at your disposal be a being of integrity and dignity and a real neighbor to your peers.
The self-deceiver is well insulated with reinforcements in all meaning's of the way's in which the ego may be stroked.
What I never could realize about my own deception was the point of Control.
It took many confrontations for me to even recognize the extent to which my propensity has been of dominance and control.
I didn't even realize the extent in which my ability to see was compromised within my control structures.
Self-Forgiveness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as the self-deceiver.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the very self-compromising nature of the self-deceiver.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying an 'elite mind and intelligence' as reason enough to take advantage of my peers for personal benefit - justifying the need to survive and it only being possible through control, dominance and submission.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the self-submission within and as the self-deceiver. I realize while existing in this state/character it is not so easy to see the self-submission because it is suppressed and dominance is being projected as the outflow and overcompensation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame those that I can define as, "The Self-Deceiver".
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take offense to the various character archetypes. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize these offenses I am taking are actually me reacting to me and my internal acceptance and allowance...and so reacting in offense as a result of my conflicted internal defense - not seeing the split as the separation from within and so without.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit creative development and expansion through investigating practical solutions that can be implemented to correct various systems of oppression and submission.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate the self-deceiver mentality within accepting and allowing myself to believe that humanity as a species is fucked....is inadequate and is forever enslaved.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make sense of perpetuating a controlling position at the expense of another - thinking it's just a matter of contracting effectively...and competing against one another from a starting point of "trying to win and be better".
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to challenge my world view and so my words.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be "wishy washy" with my words.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the consequence of the self-deceiver. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the lack of self-intimacy and self-regard. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the word and world disconnect within and as self-care being compromised for the self-deceiver.
I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the suppression of self-care within and as the self-deceiver. I realize that all life is a presentation and representation of life here and that there's an interconnectedness in all of us being here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand my self-righteous-indignation. I realize the mirror in my reality has so many times been abdicated, distracted...and missed because I went into blame and didn't bring the introspection back to myself. I realize separation/dissonance is perpetuated through blame. I realize blame to be an indicator of self-righteous indignation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compensate for self-deceiver programming by blaming and judging others....not realizing and understanding the anger and frustration with my self-deception.
TO BE CONTINUED
It's like my body is a "ball of clay" and I've decided I would like to take responsibility for my sculpture - my life.
@worldclassplayer
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Interesting post. The forgiveness section was phenomenal. Thank you for that. Having experienced controlling from both sides, it is important to acknowledge and accept ourselves for the mistakes we made while unconscious/unaware of what we were doing.
Now we do our best given what we know in every moment. In this, I think, is salvation.
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interesting part you shared thanks a lot for sharing that looking forward to more