I read every word and to be honest, I know it isn't the most modern point of view, but I would not be excited about anyone I'm in a relationship with toying around with other people and the occasional kiss. I'm not even trying to "make her wrong". I am just saying that wouldn't work for me, and so I would want to find someone who agrees.
I hear the emotion and I think of "Fear of Abandonment" often the fear makes the initial feelings overwhelming.
Who am I to say it, but maybe this free-spirited, friendly gal isn't the best fit for you. Maybe you need someone a little more steady and willing to understand some of your emotional reactions without making you feel bad about your concerns.
Either way, I heard you and hope you achieve some relief from being willing to be so open.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I appreciate the insights.