Recognizing it's a problem is the first step! It's also important to realize a lot of people get stuck in negative banter because they just don't know what else to talk about. I have 2 friends who love to talk shit. I made an effort to try and steer our conversations in positive directions. One of them it was easy....the other, eventually I felt like he was just becoming a downer for me. I'll still respond to him if he wants to find me but I don't make the same effort with him anymore.

Another method is framing. You can change a whole situation simply by how you frame it. I was sick for 2 years. It's easy to treat that as 2 years wasted but I always thought of how much I learned during that time, how I faced my fear of death and developed a whole new way of seeing life and in focusing on that I've had so many positive experiences that I wouldn't have had with a victim mentality.

You can also focus on how connected we are. How we become happier when we make others happier. This makes it easier to avoid seeing others as enemies and it's damn true too.