How to spot a narcissist

how to spot a narcissist

I'm sure most of us at some time in our lives will meet a narcissistic person. A narcissist is someone that is totally absorbed in themselves, they dont care who they hurt to get what they want and have no feelings of empathy.

Here are a few signs that someone you know may be a narcissist.

They have dillusions of grandiose

They are charismatic, with big personalities, although there are some that can appear shy and quiet.

Are often in a leadership position

Conversations are generally about themselves

They like material things that will make them appear more important or special

Physical appearance is important as they need to look better than others

Hypersensitive to criticism

Always blame others, never themselves

Have a history of bad relationships

Highly likely to cheat in a relationship

Very defensive if they cant get their own way

High self-esteem

Will Interrupt conversation to put focus on his or herself.

Like to break the rules

Have no thoughts or feelings towards others

They are manipulating

Expect others to cater to their needs

Do nice things for others only for self gain

Quick to judge, criticize or ridicule

Manipulate through guilt

Needs to control

Will not take no for an answer

Believe they are always right

How does a person become a narcissist?

Narcissism is mostly created during early childhood.

Some narcissistic personalities have been created through trauma. Past trauma that may have been so devastating it killed the person emotionally.

Excessive pampering or overindulgent parents.

Having a narcisstic parent.

Being praised for exceptional looks or abilities.

11 Mandatory Rules for Dealing With a Narcissist

My experience with a narcissistic person.

I have a narcissistic Aunt that created so much havoc and emotional pain within the family that she became a contributing factor to a serious health issue in a close relative, a health issue that this relative will never fully recover from.
I believe my Aunts narcissism was created through excessive pampering and to much positive appraisal as a child.
My Grandmother at 96 years of age admitted to me that she feared getting my Aunt angry, however she would never believe anything bad that was said about her. She would always talk about how she was the most beautiful girl in town and would make up excuses for her bad behaviour. During the last several months of my Grandmothers life my Aunt moved in with her. Through her fancy, highly pampered life style she created massive bills for my Grandmother. She sat around all day drinking wine, ordering takeaways and playing online pokies, To get her own way she would scream and verbally abuse my Grandmother, if that didn't work she would cry, lie and play the victim. Anyone that visited would be expected to do some sort of favour for her eg. cooking, cleaning or fixing something, one time she even asked me to cut her toe nails. On my Grandmothers birthday or for Christmas she would buy her the most expensive gift then brag about it to the family. Then when they would go out for a birthday meal If somebody gave my Grandmother money as a gift my Aunt would discreetly ask for it stating she was poor because all her money was spent on the expensive gift she bought for her, she would then spend it all gambling. She would promise to pay it back but never did. She had lost most of her friends as she would flirt or sleep with their partner or husband, insult or offend them or would just be to bossy. She would always play the victim and unfortunately my poor Grandmother believed her. My lovely Grandmother passed away at 99 years of age.
I went through so many mixed emotions towards my Aunt. I went through fear as I was afraid of how damaging she was to the health of my family, I went through anger as she would not listen to reason and would try to intimidate and control those around her and I went through pitty as I thought how terrible it would be to have so many people hate you like they did her. The hate people felt towards her was so extreme as I was hearing stories about people wishing she were dead.
Today her family (apart from her children) have nothing to do with her. This does make me feel a little sorry for her. unfortunetly my cousin and I who were once very close now rarely see each other. My Aunt lives with her so I no longer call or visit (They live in a city miles way from where I live). My cousin knows how we all feel about her mother and she is heart broken, I feel so bad for her, her mother has destroyed her life also and uses guilt to get what she wants from her. My doors are always open to my cousin but I cant visit her whilst her mother lives there. We have found from past experience If the family has any form of contact with my Aunt ( even accidental, unplanned contact) it gives her the impression that everything is good and she can be a part of our lives again. She has had years of forgiveness and second chances and always before the day ended she'd create some sort of drama. I just cant handle this drama and life is so much happier without her in it. My way of dealing with a narcissist is by staying as far away as possible with absolutely 0% contact.

If you have a story to tell about an experience with a narcissist I would love to hear about it in the comments.

Thanks for reading!