A Master of his non-Mongolian Crafts, Or A Result of Poor Executive Judgement From High Up?

we already have vases at our facilities – they're just not for sale

A few days ago I had the pleasure of meeting someone interesting – it was a guy who created Ming vases for a living. He asked me if he could join us at Huggson E. Inc. by offering his items for a handsome payout, but I quickly explained to him (in order to prevent the building up of hope) that we provide services; we do not sell products, and we already have vases at our facilities – they're just not for sale as his were, but merely put there as decorations or to hold Mongolian plants in them. Needless to say, judging from his behavior, he wasn't too happy about me rejecting his idea. After all, it was his craft, and it had been in his family for generations: He started running around on the concrete where we were standing, then around me in circles. He started barking like a small dog. Then he put his knuckles on the ground for more momentum, thrusting his lower body using only his arms. At this point he looked like some mixture of a human-hybrid monkey and a chihuahua run absolutely amok. He made eye-contact at every lap around me.

I didn't think a 35-year old would choose to show his troubled emotions in this kind of way

I did not understand what was taking place as I didn't think a 35-year old would choose to show his troubled emotions in this kind of way. The next moment he sped up even more, and the circle which he was drawing around me with his dirty footsteps became smaller and smaller in diameter. At this point I could feel the breeze of his fast-moving body turning and turning, and it became harder to see him. I felt dizzy and my eyes started hurting as I had to turn my head and move my eyes really fast to catch up with him. His voice became hoarse as he had not stopped barking like the dog he was pretending to be. I asked him: "Is your ming vase crafts so important you have to make a scene like this?" He replied by making sneeze sounds from his nose, and some jelly came out of it. This is when I realized what the problem was: I was no longer in Mongolia, this was not a hard-working, successful, Mongolian entrepreneur, and the border which borders with Russia was behind me, not in front of me: I was in Russia, and this was a drunk gopnik. As I had this revelation, I immediately recalled the hours before the incident: I had tried Russian drink.

the guy running around in circles was not a Russian-born citizen turned gopnik

But then I woke up. It didn't happen. It was all a dream, unfortunately, and the guy running around in circles was not a Russian-born citizen turned gopnik, nor was it a Mongolian worker trying to impress me with his excellent Ming vase craft specialty, nor was it any of the people I could possibly imagine or recall from memory having met; it was an upset female worker at our facilities trying to wake me up by running around in my bedroom touching all my things, slamming her feet in the floor (she was wearing wooden sandals) and, of course, drumming her massage spoons on my window vases. She was fired that same day. Needless to say, she does not act the same, arrogantly self-entitled way now that she's out on the streets. I gave her a chance by hiring her, and I am the owner of our company and our facilities – I used up my life-savings to buy up the property at which we conduct our businesses, and then she has the audacity to go about ruining my sleep schedule and increasing my cortisol levels like this. Why? She wanted a raise. I gave her a Mongolian-like firing.

- Earnstein