About my beginnings in writing - Letter to Camila

In 2009, I received an unexpected life changing text message from my mom.

She wrote: "Do you know what does positive mean on a pregnancy test? I'm on my first month, don't tell anybody" - I hadn't finished reading the text when I screamed in the middle of my classroom, in front of my Technical Drawing teacher and half of my classmates, too late- the excitement didn't let me keep the secret.

I was 14 and I had years and years asking my mom to think about it, "please just one more baby while you can". She refused; my 10 year old brother and I were enough; but something in her expressions and her hesitating answers told me she didn't mind the idea and later on, without planning, it just came.

It's worth saying that from that moment, my 2009 changed completely. Mixed feelings held me on the edge of an abyss. Nerves, happiness, anxiety, desperation; who would have thought 9 months could feel so long? All those feelings would translate to a bunch of corny thoughts contrasted with some fear. I felt the need to do something about it, I wanted to write down every thought I had swiming around in my head.

It wasn't until a few months after my little sister was born that; motivated by my Spanish teacher Jhoselyn, who after reading Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's novel "The sorrows of young Werther" in class, decided to assign us to write a letter to whoever we wanted, because the novel is written in form of letters. That's where I found the opportunity to open up and write down everything that I had flowing my mind for months.

When the day due for the assignment came, the teacher informed us that each and every single letter would be read in class, each person could either read their own or pick a classmate, or even the teacher herself, to read it for them. I decided to ask her to read mine so it could be read to the verbatim, with its commas, its pauses, expressions and full ideas; she very kindly accepted but to our surprise, my beloved teacher had to stop a few times because a knot in her throat kept interrupting her; at the end we understood the reason: she experienced the exact same thing when at 15 she welcomed a little brother home as well.

This letter was my very first post on a blogspot page I started a few months later. Today as I refresh nice memories I use the chance to also share it with my fellow steemians. So here is my Letter to Camila

PS: i'd love to know of your experiences with arrivals of your siblings, children, nephews or nieces ☺ ♥

PSS: special shout out to my steemit mate @elima who tried to read the spanish version of this post and came to the conclusion that he should improve his spanish... While you do that, here's the translation, my friend. lol

Cutie:

The present letter has the simple purpose of expressing how great it feels to have you with me. It's hard for me to explain what I feel when I touch you, kiss you, cuddle you, when I look at you smile, what I feel when you cry or just scream for the sake of it. I don't know how my life would be without you, at the moment you are the most beautiful and special being on the face of earth for me. I'm sure I could write an entire book parting from this letter and coming to the conclusion of my feelings. You are my dream come true; you were the farthest but most beautiful star of my solar system in which I always had faith and hope would complete my life.

Every day that I spend with you I thank God for listening to my pleas and conceding me the almost miracle of bringing you to our home that got filled with streamers of happiness, ballons inflated with dreams and love as well as a little bit of fear, just thinking in a second I could see your beautiful little eyes and the next maybe not, just thinking of going back home empty handed was overwhelming; it must be horrible for you to read about the dark thoughts I had through those months we'd been waiting for you but I got over it, hardly, but I did; now that you're here and nothing has me shaken up anymore, I intend on taking care of you with my life.

I must confess my heartbeat increased the moment they told me you were here, my eyes started watering with happiness but I held back the tears and just started blinking to clear my vision. Yet nothing compares to the moment, that moment I saw you for the first time and then when we finally got to have you in the room and I could touch you, hug you, hold you up in my arms; I couldn't stop trying to capture those moments, our first picture together. Just a glance, a whisper and your instant response, the magic you transmitted and how your little body molded to my arms with such an amazing gentleness was unbelievable.

Every day I wonder what's behind your fragility, what does a little person like you think. It's something new for me, but I'm already getting used to watch over you every morning. So here I am, for you, always. I wanna be here with you because nothing is better than having you, loving you, taking care of you and attempting to never lose you. Whenever I think of you a smile lights my face and I've understood that it'd be hard to live without your infinite tenderness because it is addictive.

I want you to always have in mind that I live and will always live for you and I give myself to you wholly, just the way I am and I'll shout to the world that I love you!, that you're a very important piece of my puzzle and the trampoline that impulses me to keep going so you can be proud of me in a future.

With a big hug and a noisy kiss, I say goodbye.

Love ♥

Your sister.