Personal Influence: Where It Really Comes From, And How You Can Have More.

What does it really mean to be a boss? It means you have influence because that’s your title.  What does it mean to be a leader? It means you have influence because others choose to follow you.  

But, what does it mean to have influence? That’s a bigger question.  And, ironically, it’s the question that both bosses and leaders (sometimes the same) are anxiously trying to figure out. 

We often write and speak about influencing greatness in others — because our audience is often defined by people who hold the title of ‘Manager.’ 

However, neither one of us really care too much for that title. Instead of sounding like a person who is supposed to support, inspire, and cheer for the success of employees, the word manager sounds more like a person responsible for diluting temper tantrums, policing time-cards, and giving orders. 

That’s no fun. Those things may influence people to meet expectations out of fear… but they won’t inspire them to be great.

The real job of a manager, as we see it, is to influence others to greatness — so that they don’t need to be managed. Instead, they want to produce great work because it’s rewarding, serves a bigger purpose, or creates a difference that is loved. 

But, that again begs the questions: what does it mean to truly influence? Where does influence come from? Who does it come from? And, how can you have greater influence on others? 

In our work, we’ve found three things that have the power to influence others to achieve their best — and they have nothing to do with control, threats, or fear. 

 1. Be Your Best You and Expect The Same From Them. 

Throughout our careers many of us have been told to set an example for others. But, it’s important to understand that setting an example for others doesn’t mean you expect others to become you. Instead, you be the best version of yourself and expect them to become the best version of themselves. That’s where people will naturally thrive to the greatest extent. In fact, University of Cambridge psychologist Brian Little, who studies authenticity at work said, “Suppress your true self for too long, and you risk stress, burnout and perhaps even physical health consequences.” The same is being found in company cultures. "Great culture is a result of allowing people to be the best version of themselves, instead of trying to force people into becoming who we think they should be," said Dan McNamee, president of Floyd's 99 Barbershops when we asked him how the company has been able to maintain such a strong culture of service through extreme growth. This concept might seem counterintuitive but we see it all the time — those who accept, support, and inspire people to become their best have more influence than those who try to change people into something they’re not. 

 2. Friendship Isn’t Frowned-Upon.

No matter what your title is, there’s a little secret about influence that many bosses and companies seem to overlook — titles and positions aren’t always the most potent forms of influence. Instead, social relationships have a massive impact on the way people view and feel about their work. In fact, a study by the University of Pennsylvania and the University of Minnesota found that when tasked with diverse work projects, groups of friends were better than groups of acquaintances at: committing to the start of a project, communicating throughout the activity, offering both encouragement and feedback, and critically evaluating ideas. Add to that a Gallup study that revealed an employee with a best friend at work is five times more likely to feel a strong connection to their company and seven times more likely to fully engage at work than employees who don’t have a best friend at the office. Again, this concept might seem counterintuitive to many leaders, but the facts speak for themselves — if you want to influence greatness in the people in your organization, promote friendships at work. 

 3. Appreciate Their Quest for Greatness.

If you truly want to influence people to become their best, you need to find out what they want to achieve, and then appreciate the fact that you get to be part of their journey.  Think about it. People want their work to make a difference — to their organization, to the customer, or to the recipient of their work. In fact, the O.C. Tanner Institute studied more than 1 million cases of award-winning work to find that 88% of those projects started with an employee asking some form of the question, “What difference could I make that someone would love?” If we help people make those differences, by encouraging their effort, rewarding their results, and celebrating the fact that we get to play a role in their career ascent, we’ll quickly come to the conclusion that recognizing someone’s dream is one of the most influential things we can do.It’s often fuzzy, like we mentioned — the difference between being a boss, being a leader, and being an influencer. But, it’s really not all that difficult to understand if you understand your opportunity as a boss, as a leader, and as an influencer. You have the ability to help people experience greatness. 

Reference Forbes Magazine

Well, steemians, what do you think? Do you influence people? or do you only play the role of a simple boss or manager? Please feel free to leave your comment or thought!

Regards!!