Life Lessons: Dedicated to the Best Dad - A Free Write
Note: This is a free write. An expression. Pardon all the grammar slips.
Dark has been my sole color the past few weeks. Sadness was my only company. Confused, the only adjective. A father's sickness or any worrisome health condition isn't something any daughter wishes to witness. In fact, no one wants to see their protector so helpless because no one could ever take their place. How can you show your strength when your only source of such is the same thing that weakens you?
Life is not always what you make it because life will stay as it is... life. Complicated. Unpredictable. Hard. You just have to guard yourself once it hits you until you are down on your knees because when that time comes, the only way out is up.
In all honesty, I am not the religious type. I believe in something greater than me but I am not expressive with my faith. I do not qualify my beliefs. I only believe; I do not show.
I rarely ask for help. So, the moment I do, I always remember the simplest act of kindness I received while I am at the bottom. So, this is a shout out to my good friends in Steemit, @chinitacharmer and @jazzhero whom I have never met in person but treated me like a true family. Thank you for lending a hand and for your prayers. I have only asked thrice, turned down once but was helped twice and you two are my answered prayers.
Fatherhood is a task which one can either opt to escape from or take the responsibility. It does not end the moment one produces sperms but it requires commitment to raise individuals that can inculcate the same sense of accountability and selflessness.
Most of the time, we glorify how noble motherhood is. This often undermines the value of becoming a father. This is not to make comparison between the two but to enunciate the importance of both. This time, I want to celebrate the greatness of a father.
Life Lessons My Father Taught Me
Work Does Not Mean 8 to 5
I have not seen my father go to work or wear any formal suits for a meeting. When I was a kid, I wished my father was a policeman or a teacher or someone who regularly goes to work wearing a uniform.
I can still recall having second thoughts during my kindergarten days as to what to tell the whole class whenever I am tasked to talk about my father. He does business and that is something that the kindergarten me could not understand at that time.
A number of persons have offered my father a regular job but he refused because according to him, he does not want to be caged in an office wherein he is paid a specific amount regardless of the amount of job he has to perform. For him, it is a waste of time and it is something that isn’t financially and emotionally satisfying. So, he refused and I hated him for that especially when business isn’t doing well. I despised him especially during the time when we almost lost everything because his business partner tricked him and took all the money away.
All of these notions and hatred were gone the moment I have finally understood my father and when I started working as well. I have understood how compelling most companies are. Most even believe that they own you just because they are the ones putting food on your table. So, from then on, I have admired how my father was able to survive the needs of our entire family without depending on anyone.
To work 8 to 5 is not the only way to afford bread.
Importance of Relationship
We have witnessed broken relationships caused by money. However, as I grow up, my father has already showed us how important relationships are and such should not be sacrificed just because of financial conflicts. Thus, if you can give way, just give way. My father always says, “Never let a friendship or any relationship be strained just because of mundane things such as money, gadgets and etc. Remember, what you have built with the person is something that couldn’t be ever replaced by just anything.”
My father is the epitome of patience. If I am patient and understanding, my father’s rope of patience is a lot longer than mine. He would just laugh at something or someone who cheated on him. He would remain calm amidst the disappointed look on his face. I always wish to have the same calmness which my father possesses.
Our relationship is a lot valuable than what you owe me.
Faith Is What You Do, Not What You Show
My father, just like me, is not expressive with his faith. In fact, I have only seen him in church once and that is during his brother’s wedding day. He did not even attend his mother’s burial. For him, religion and faith is not measured on how frequent you go to church but on how you live your life and how you deal with others. He sees the church as a source of gossip where people come for reasons other than praying and praising the Creator.
How you deal with others especially to those who are really in need is a lot more important than having a perfect attendance in church. As long as you live your life without belittling anyone, you are still molding yourself and your life in His likeness.
Faith is you, not what you try to show.
On Parenting
I am always the home buddy. I do not usually go out or go to parties but when I do, my father does not have any curfew to follow or any rules to think about. As long as he knows where we are going and the company we are with, he would let us be with our friends any time of the day regardless if we go home late or just go home the next day. For him, he believes that the more restriction he sets, the more we will try to get away from such restrictions and grow as the rebellious type. He often would just make fun of my younger sister who has the “YOLO Attitude” (You Only Live Once). My sister does not have any problems going out late, going home drunk or have a drinking session with my father, uncle and cousins. We were raised to be that liberated.
He actually believes that he raised us right. Thus, he is confident that wherever we may be or whatever time it is, we would be the responsible individuals he raised us to be. He trusts his parenting style. Thus, he would never doubt our actions when we aren’t home. This is something that I can truly attest. Indeed, he raised us to be responsible individuals without restricting us to live our lives and enjoy every moment. He even joked once that maybe he raised us to be “too responsible” as me and my sister aren’t married yet when our high school batch mates already have at least three kids of their own.
Trust your kids, the way you trust your parenting style.
My Thoughts
My father isn’t perfect but his love to us is. Thus, I will be forever grateful to the Almighty God for my father’s health and healing.
About the Author
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Oh, by the way, penny for my thoughts?
You're most welcome besh! Glad your father is ok now! And oh, this is such a lovely tribute to your father! Plus the life lessons are spot on! Smile na! 😘☺☺
Thank you besh!!!
He sounds like a wise and caring father. Got some bits of wisdom through his words and your post too. Really glad that he is doing well. Bless you and your family.
Hey @jazzhero!!! Thank you ulit. Chika tau next time. Haha! See you sa discord.
wise father you got there! love the post! :)
Hey andy! Hmmm....somehow I see you in him or (maybe him in you?)You both hate working for someone.
I remember having to pretend to be strong too when my father had a stroke. It pains so much having to teach him how to talk and walk again when we got out of the hospital. Naiyak tuloy ako @valerie15 while reading your post.
Thank you for sharing your father's wisdom and hope he gets a lot better. :-)
Lots lof love!♡♡♡
He seems very wise!
You have an amazing father, Val.
Good to know that he has recovered.
God bless!