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RE: I want to write... but I'm too disgusted with myself to begin...
You're writing doesn't have to be your inner most thoughts exclusively.
Try a different approach, join a growing community related to steemit in one of the discord channels, read/comment/curate instead of posting or even host a fun contest and enjoy the process.
I can relate to a lot of what you wrote here, you may be feeling stuck in a routine when you're truly craving something bigger or more meaningful than the day to day. Breaking up your routine by doing small things can help a lot as well.
Very true. This was one of the few times I put something out like this. More of an act of desperation from a very, very bad day :P I'm generally too fried mentally and emotionally by the time everyone else is in bed to write anything coherent and that's my only time available and I hate waking up early.
Even breaking the routine is a challenge because 'why should I have the right to do anything fun when all I do is sit around all day'? Or at least that's what I tell myself, or imagine my wife saying.
Wow, that's a really cool idea! And your writing will improve automatically - not that there's anything wrong with it. It's great to be supportive of other writers and it'll get you a bunch of friends that are on the same page, too.