My senior prom can be describe as disastrous.
Like most american teenage girls, we dream about prom, our wedding day, and just about any chance we get to dress up and feel like a real princess.
People wonder why prom is such a big deal, but it's the one night we ladies get to feel like royalty.
Nothing feels better than every girl you know dressed there best with high confidence and smiles on their face. I absolute love seeing all my friends' excitement.
Junior year I went to prom with my former best friend, Karmen. We had pictures done and we had a blast! We danced the night away not giving a damn in the world, having fun with our friends.

Senior year, I wanted so badly to have a male as a date. I wanted the fantasy a girl dreams of.
I had made plans to go to prom with my then boyfriend Jacob, who cheated on me and lied about it for months before breaking up with me only a few weeks before prom. I became so blinded by stupid desires that instead of going with a good friend, I was on the hunt for a honey ;)
Now I should mention before going on this man hunt of mine, that I had gotten into a minor car accidnet, of which that was not my fault and I fell into a little money. Just a little.
And with this said "money" I splurged and bought a $400 prom dress. Beautifully delicate and white. I loved my dress. My previous one was an on-sale JCPenny dress that ripped on prom night.
The only problem was that I need a strap alteration because they were two big, as the dress was a size larger than I needed. So I got the alterartion done and went back to try it on.

Needless to say, the alteration got fucked up and I was fucked without a dress. I tried to have my great grandmother undo the alteration, but I couldn't undo what had been done.
It was awful.
I felt like I had wasted so much money, all for a dress I couldn't wear.
She had taken way too much strap in, and the boob cups for my dress were up to my clavicle.
My mom, determined to help me find another dress, drove me all over Indiana looking for another.
After trying on countless dress that were god-awful. I found the exact same dress in a size smaller.
and it fit perfectly. No alterations. Perfect.
We got a discount on the dress because of a small fray in the back, of which I fixed with my sorta handy dandy sewing skills.

But back to my man hunt.

Bryan

haha, let's talk about Bryan and how still fucking confused I am by everything that went down between me and him.
Now Bryan was different, in such a way that I knew he had a thing for me, and I actually really like him. He talked to me. which was weird because literally no one in high school talked to me or cared about what I had to say. But he did care.
We started dating before prom and we decided to go together.
I spent a lot of money on my prom at this point, probably around $800 all together.
I was so excited, but again, there was another problem.
I had a state Academic Competition early that morning, two hours away.
I was the team captain of the fine arts division and had put in weeks of effort studying and preparing for this competition.
In case you were wondering.
We fucking won state and it was fucking awesome because my school literally gives no fucks about academic team and the arts. AND IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. Eat that football. Our football team can't even win a game.

Anyways, as I am rushing back home to get ready for prom. Bryan texts me wanting to leave soon to get dinner and take pictures with friends at like 3pm. and I know for damn sure I'm not even gonna be back until like 4pm. I haven't done my hair, my makeup, my anything.
This is where the downhill bullshit started.

This boy was gonna get a super fucking early dinner without me. He was gonna leave without me and jut meet me at prom. Like the fuck? Are you even my date? Prom doesn't start till 8 o'clock.

So frantically I do my hair, trying to to cry because I'm a fragile ass stressed young woman. I do my makeup and somehow convince him to eat with me somewhere else.
We eat a cute local Italian restaurant, take pictures, and then we were on our way to prom, of which we were an hour late to, because apparently we couldn't just get something quick to eat and we had to drive with his friend.

An hour late we show up, and guess who wants to go see all his friends? Bryan. Basically ditches me from the get-go.
He didn't like dancing, and all I wanted to do was dance.
I spent most the night looking for him and not enjoying myself, and being miserable.
Eventually towards the end, I was like fuck it, and started dancing with my friends and hanging out with them. I was sick and tired of chasing Bryan around and trying to get him to dance.
We ended up spending like the rest of the weekend together and I really thought we could be something.
Sunday night rolls around and he ends everything between us.
I felt stupid and led on and very disappointed.
I didn't understand why Bryan was straight up with me. And why he still can'y be completely honest.
He said it was because he was moving away. but guess who is still going to the same school again this year? Bryan.
He never wanted to try things with me. He never had any intentions of being with me, and instead of telling me that, he ended up really hurting me.
I didn't go to school the next two days because of how sick he made me feel.
And when I finally returned, my business was spread around the school. I could hear people talking about him and me and felt like everyone knew about what went down. And on top of that I had a douche bag physics teacher who really made my day shit.

Now I have talked a lot of shit about Bryan. He's really not that bad of a person. Just confused and sometimes stupid.
I don't believe he ever meant to hurt me. But he did. No one is perfect.

Moral of story:
Fuck men
Fuck dumb ass men who can't be honest for shit.
Fuck cheaters
Fuck wasting money
Go to prom with friends and have fun.
If you're date isn't your best friend, why even go with them?
If you like to dance, go with someone who also likes to fucking dance.
And if you don't have intentions of being with someone, tell them, don't give them false hopes by leading them on.

It's fucking selfish to spend a shit ton of time "Figuring out" what you want, when someone is pouring themselves into you.

I like the word "fuck". There really is no other word that can describe so many emotions at once and smack you right in the fucking face.

Yours. . . fucking. . . truly,

Truthtalks

p.s. If you want to check out some of my artwork see the link below:

https://steemit.com/photography/@truthtalks/americana

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@truthtalks
https://steemit.com/@truthtalks
January 31st, 2018