Truly Fake News #03: Researchers discover that Donald Trump has Mexican origins

in #life6 years ago

Since the 45 years that Truly Fake News has been operating in its headquarters located in the darkest point of a basement inside a house where a 98-year-old woman and a middle-aged man wearing underpants of animals live; we’ve been characterized by always bringing the most shocking news you’ll never find anywhere else.

Today, we have prepared a special article where you’ll know the true nationality of one of the most iconic characters in the world, and we’re not talking about the Colombian nationality of Nicolás Maduro (we all already know that). Today we’ll talk about President No. 45 of United States of America, the unique and unmatched Donald J. Trump. Prepare your sphincters and your hearts; what you will see next will completely change the way you see the world. We’re not responsible for the terrible psychological consequences that these revelations will leave in you. Discretion is advised.

Donald Trump: Origins

Many don’t know it, but Donald Trump has Mexican roots. His great-great-grandfather, Donaldo Trompeta, a native of Michoacán, was a famous Mariachi at Plaza Garibaldi in late 1894. Tired of his precarious lifestyle, he decided to cross the border to give his family a better future. On his journey through the Mojave desert, he had a brief love affair with a caterpillar, which became pregnant.

At birth, the child inherited the beautiful blond hair of his mother and today, distinguishes all members of the Trump family. That child was Donald's great-grandfather. 10 Years after his birth, Donaldo decided to recognize the boy and gave him his last name. Unfortunately, the pen ink was finished before writing the last three letters of the last name "Trompeta" on the birth certificate. The young man, ended with the surname "Tromp". Some time later, in a typing error, somebody wrote "Trump" on his driver's license and he decided to leave it because "it sounded Chido".

Why does he hate Mexicans so much?

Many wonder why Donald Trump hates Mexicans so much. Many believe that the rivalry with Mexico began when Trump himself felt jealous to see that the object of his darkest passions, Enrique Peña Nieto, had that confused handshake with Justin Trudeau. Peña Nieto, dazzled and at the same time in love with Justin's sex appeal, became deconcentrated for a few moments, provoking that embarrassing moment. Obviously, Trump felt betrayed and his heart was broken. From that day, the millionaire swore to destroy everything that Peña Nieto loved, including the beloved Mexican people, his little Chihuahua dog and his accounts abroad filled with laundered money.

The things that Donald Trump loves the most in the world

Many believe that Donald Trump only loves his money, but they’re wrong. Despite having a lot of money, he’s a man of simple tastes. When nobody sees him, Donald locks up in his office in the White House and enjoys the popular TV shows broadcasted on Televisa, Telemundo, Univisión and TV Azteca. Donald loves telenovelas and Chespiritio series, such as "El Chapulín Colorado" and "El Chavo del Ocho." In fact, when he was 8 years old, he attended his first children's party disguised as "Doctor Chapatín" (search this in Google if you’re not Mexican and you have no idea of what we’re talking about).

His favorite channels on YouTube are "Luisito Comunica" and "Juanpa Zurita". His favorite Netflix series is "Luis Miguel: La Serie" and his favorite singer in the whole world is not Taylor Swift, but "Lucerito". His favorite foods are "Chalupas" and "Tacos al Pastor".


Trump tries to deceive American people, making them think that he hates Mexicans, but even if he doesn’t want it, blood always calls. For that reason, he can’t avoid having wet dreams with Alejandro Fernández and "Chicharito" Hernández.

Why does Donald Trump want to build a wall?

Some experts believe that Donald tries to do with Mexico and United States, just as the "Berlin Wall" did with Germany, but in reality, that’s not his true intention. In fact, Donald Trump has always had a sexual fetish with walls. Anonymous sources have revealed to us that Donald Trump lost his virginity against a wall, when he was assaulted in the middle of the night by an unknown subject. Many claim that Kanye West was that man, with whom he shares an intimate video that we’ve all seen on Youtube.

That experience transformed him into a fetishist for walls and since then, he has used to subjugate beauty queens, models and adult movie stars against the wall, in the style of Harvey Weinstein. If you want to continue reading more curious facts about this unique character, wait for our next article. Meanwhile, we invite you to read our previous articles and giving your upvote, that way you’ll help more people to continue losing their valuable time reading things like this.

Remember…

And let us know in the comments section the topics that you would love to read in our blog. Ciao.  

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