Behind the Bulletproof Glass
Inside a “bubble” I sit,
Enclosed by inches of thick bulletproof glass,
It isolates me from the crowd.
Two doors,
One an entrance towards the assembly of patients,
Should I need to react in haste on their behalf,
The other an exit should I feel threatened.
How strange it is to need a mean for escape,
In a place that is meant for healing and recovery,
But angrily many stare,
Waiting.....
Pain in the faces of some,
Patience a virtue of others.
One by one a few approach,
“How much longer?”
With the kindest and most caring of voices,
I reply,
“I am sorry for the delay, the ER is very busy. I do not have a time frame and am very sorry for the wait.”
My reply often answered with the coldest of looks,
And there I sit hoping today I will not have to use the escape exit,
Because the reason for these layers of glass,
Is that it’s happened before…
As always! Thank you for reading. Feel free to follow should you appreciate my content. I write about a few different things but lately they have been posts on circumstances, thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I sat in what we call the bubble at work. Its a check in area in the lobby of the ER. My responsibility is to check patients in and monitor them while they are in the ER for any condition changes or need of emergent care. With that comes the mixed emotions from long waits. Sadly these emotions can unravel into dangerous situations...which is why I pondered on these thoughts!
Your Travel Nurse
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I feel you friend. I work in a busy hospital pharmacy. There's only so much two hands can do..safely. There's a limit to helping, because health workers help until it hurts them. Where should you draw a line? Should there be a line?
Your feet hurt, your vision blurs.
Your shift ends in five minutes but there's a sick child crying in the waiting room. There's an angry husband, his wife is in pain. There's a bald woman waiting for chemo, her face masked so we won't kill her, and her eyes are wet and sorrowful.
We help until we can't.
We do it because we are the help. We are the soft places where hurt goes to heal. We are the lights in dark places. We are, because we choose to be.
They don't understand, waiting for their turn.
They need you to fix it. To make it go away.
Not knowing you die a little every time you have to make a choice
Whether to go
Or to stay.
Jhagi.
The other thing to consider is that the more you work to help, the less effective you become as you become more exhausted. It's truly a razor-thin edge.
beautiful reply.
Thanks Spaingaroo. Smiling. I appreciate the time taken to read. Working stiffs like us in medical have our share of burdens. Not many know them if they're not in the field. It's hard to prevent becoming jaded. To avoid emotional burnout; and yet that's what's needed. A warm heart in a clinician's body. A feeling machine if you will.
Happy you liked the post.
Best hugs.
Jhagi.
The hospital pharmacy is also a very stressful area. So many hospitals don't have pharmacy services available during night shift. In the ER we often have to do drug calculations and mix drugs in Emergency Situations which can be super stressful. The process always consists of multiple checks by RNs. I appreciate your response. Sound like you definitely understand chaos of things.
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Hi @travelnurse. I have not been around as much because of health problems. I was so happy to see this post today! Upvoted, resteemed, shared on twitter and Linked In. Of course I love anything you write. Since I have worked in an Emergency Room in the past, I really felt what you were saying. I will post it now to Facebook as well, because I have a lot of friends in health care that will appreciate it. Take Care!
I have missed you Sally. I was just wondering where you have been. Much love <3, hope you are doing well as I know you are affected by your health, thank you again for appreciating my work.
I called it the fishbowl. But it was an inverse statement, because we were the watched ones, not the other way around.
Thanks for sharing. I have no idea how tough that must be. <3
raw piece, isn't it?
It's great. (like nursey)
Fishbowl is an appropriate interpretation. I could feel all eyes on me. 👀
Looking within and looking without. Eyes everywhere. D:
Frustration is what I feel waiting like that. And trapped, nothing more to do than watching the time pass. Really great writing!
Yeah I completely get it...the hardest part is there is no control over the influx of people. They say the hospital never closes but that really goes for the ER. If there are no beds on the floor then they no longer take patients...meaning ER nurses are caring for patients in ER that are considered admits on top of trying to manage those that are arriving. Its a tough balance.
Another great insight into a place people wish they never have to got to
Thanks for reading Gill! Like I told @kerlund74, it a tough balance. Hard to sit in a glass bubble and wish you had beds for everyone.
This post has received a 1.56 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @banjo.
That has to be a pretty scary thought to know that you have to have bulletproof glass as protection. I can't imagine how that must really feel.
Yeah I can only imagine how the people outside it feel.. I thought about writing a second piece Outside the Bulletproof Glass...their perspective. What about all the people in the lobby :(
I would not want to be outside the glass if I were in a situation like that... unless I was like 3 blocks away outside the glass.
This encapsulates the stresses that surround such places of both hope and despair.
I have personally seen the look of outrage when I've come into the ER on my own in the midst of a heart attack and had instant care.
People who've waited can't readily know to look at me that I am at risk of dying in a matter of minutes because they see nothing other than what mimics the pain on their own faces.
As a known cardiac risk I've been told to call an ambulance but I have 4 times found that I can get on the operating table a half hour to an hour quicker than waiting for an ambulance.
I owe my life to the triage skills of people on the front lines like yourself. Stay safe @travelnurse. <3
Learned a lot about you in this reply @cryptologyx. It's for emergency situations like yours that we must react quickly. Even if someone has been there longer it comes down to the need for "Emergent" care. We have to manage beds appropriately in case someone should come in under circumstances such as yours or worse.