The Power of Forgiveness: How Letting Go of Resentment Can Improve Your Mental Health

Many people think that forgiving someone means ignoring what they did wrong. The truth is, forgiveness isn't about excusing bad behavior - it's about freeing yourself from the negative emotions that come from being hurt.


While forgiving someone else may mean giving them another chance, it doesn't mean you'll forget what they did. It just means you'll stop focusing on what they did wrong and start focusing on what you have to gain.

By releasing your resentment, you'll be able to accept what has happened and move forward with confidence.

STEP 1: Find Out What Really Happened

As hard as it may be, the first step toward forgiveness is being honest with yourself about what happened. This will let you know where your thoughts came from, why you chose to hold onto them, and what you need to do to move on.

Try to answer questions like, "Why didn't I forgive him/her when he/she did X?," "What would he/she need to do differently in order for me to forgive her/him?" And "How can I get myself to stop thinking about what she/he did?''

STEP 2: Recognize the Impact You Had on Him/Her

Remember that everyone makes mistakes. Even though you can't forget what happened, it doesn't mean you have to continue holding onto it. Instead, focus on what you can do now to help heal the pain.

If your thoughts were sparked by someone else's mistake, consider what you have to offer them instead. There are times when it's appropriate to help a person grow, and the only way to do that is to give them something even better.

For instance, if the person that offended you was late to your wedding because they were dealing with an injury, try to help them understand that their behavior wasn't a reflection on their character. Maybe you could help them find a new job, find a therapist, or connect them with a community resource.

STEP 3: Accept What Has Already Happened

If your resentment towards someone is due to your own fears or regrets, you'll have to come to terms with the fact that what they did is already done. Once you accept what has happened, you won't have any reason to feel resentment.

Forgiving others doesn't change what they did, but it does let go of the feelings you have about what happened.

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