The Feminine Fortitude

While I have the fortune of being acquainted with a great many people, there are few who are good friends, and fewer whom I respect the most. I had the most fortunate experience of knowing a female friend of mine, and through her life-story, I was able to comprehend, on a very minuscule level, what kinds of obstacle women in this society are facing and how they are handling it. She has been fighting and has won many fights. The war, nonetheless, is going on. I respect this friend of mine the most for it.

The interaction with her spurred me into thinking as to why this injustice is prevailing in this society. And thus, I have penned down my views on this prejudice against women.
“Fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating. If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that this has to stop.”

This particular line was said by British actress and Goodwill Ambassador for UN Women Emma Watson at the UN summit. The above so aptly describes as to what people perceive feminism these days.

What feminism means is a hotly contested debate in the twenty-first century. Often, efforts to define feminism are hatched in response to critiques or dismissals of it as angry, irrational, and man-hating. The term itself is so widely contested and decided that many people adamantly state that they are “not feminists,” despite espousing what many consider feminist values and views.

I have some female acquaintances who proclaim themselves to be feminists. When asked what they infer by feminism, here are some very ridiculous replies:

“It’s about establishing that women are not only equal to men but also greater and far better.”

“We have a hard life. We are deprived of chances. Why don’t you swap the boys’ lifestyle with ours for a change?”

Is this feminism? No people, no. This is amateur understanding of this fight for women. To truly work towards feminism, one must deeply understand the meaning of the term, to begin with.

Feminism isn’t about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceive their strength. It’s about equality. Not just for women, but for all people, regardless of gender, sexuality, race, culture, religion, ability, class, nationality, or age.

It is the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. It is the theory of political, economic and social equality of the sexes. Feminism isn’t hating the opposite sex, it is the advancement of women in sync with the progress of the world.

Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong. It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum, instead of two sets of opposing ideals.

So what is feminism really all about? Feminism is about fighting inequality in all of its forms, including classism, racism, global corporate colonialism, heterosexism and homophobia, xenophobia, religious intolerance, and of course, the persistent problem of sexism. It is also about fighting these on a global level, and not just within our own communities and societies, because we are all connected by globalised systems of economy and governance, and because of this, power, privilege, and inequality operate on a global scale.

Feminism basically is equality. Not just for women, but for all people, regardless of gender, sexuality, race, culture, religion, ability, class, nationality, or age.

Feminism does not mean you hate men, it does not mean you hate girls that have nice legs and a tan, and it certainly does not mean you are a bitch or a dyke. Feminism is giving an opportunity to all the women in the world.

In today’s world, we are fighting for women because the majority of them are deprived of a chance. Fight for women to get them on the same footing as men. Feminism has become a cry for the deprived women because they are not given a fair chance to be on par with the men in various fields.

This isn’t just a fight for women to fight. As rightly said by Malala Yousufzai,

“We cannot all succeed when half of us are held back”

Women constitute an integral part of the society. Fight for giving women opportunities. Let them have their own fair chance and then see who is better or not. This is like a race between two fast runners, albeit one with weights tied to the feet. Let them free, and then see how the race progresses.

We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes, but I can see that they are and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence. If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted, women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled.

Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong. It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum, instead of two sets of opposing ideals. If we stop defining each other by what we are not, and start defining ourselves by who we are, we can all be freer.

I am pretty sure a man penning down his views on the injustice of women seems idiosyncratic to many women. Many must feel that I, being a man who hasn’t endured the perils of women, can never comprehend the situation. For those women, all I want to say is, yes I haven’t felt this inequity. Yes, I am a man and have never been deprived of opportunity yet. At the same time, I have a mother, a sister, and friends. I have seen the kinds of injustice women face. I am not aloof of it. And as a person who has had the fair chance, I would like to use it to tell everyone that I support you. I believe in equality of all, and will fight for it, because I want to be instrumental in the progress of society as a whole.

To all the men out there, consider this a calling. I’ve seen young men suffering from mental illness, unable to ask for help for fear it would make them less of a man. I’ve seen men made fragile and insecure by a distorted sense of what constitutes male success. Men don’t have the benefits of equality, either. We all need to strive for equality of all, irrespective of the gender. It’s high time we erase this barrier of gender and consider the progression of us as a species.

To all the women out there, know that people are with you. You aren’t alone. The progress of women has been on the rise in the past 50 years or so. Imagine the prejudice the women in the 18th and 19th century faced and the liberty, no matter how meagre, you have successfully achieved. To those who still consider feminism as man-hating, know that a great number of men support the upliftment of women and therefore, it’s high time you guys change your perspective about it. Let us all work together in the progress of us as a species.

If you believe in equality, you might be one of those inadvertent feminists that I spoke of earlier, and for this, I applaud you. We are struggling for a uniting word, but the good news is, we have a uniting movement. And this movement shall fight till its last breath until each and every woman gets a fair chance at opulence.

Through this small article, I would love to applaud all the women worldwide who have successfully broken the norms of this society and are finding equal footing with men in their own respective fields. I would also like to appreciate those who are fighting towards it. I hold the utmost respect for these women, who construe meaning to the word “strength”. You are no less than warriors, and have the best wishes from me as well as innumerable others I hope.

Progress starts individually. I invite each one of you to step forward, out of the shadows, to be seen and to ask yourself:

“If not me, who? If not now, when?”