Family Isn't Always Blood

To my pillars of support,

The world is full of filth. Hell beyond this is unfathomable. God gave each person one face, and yet, I see many in one. I find it really hard to trust people, you know. I created a wall around me, impenetrable. I was an extrovert, and yet, in times of solitude, I am my true self, all alone, meekly observing the cloud of treachery around me, trying not to breathe in this poison. The things I truly feel are hidden from most. You could call me an introvert in a way.

You know why I don't let many people get close? It's because they always disappoint me. If people fail me in times of need. I figured, what use would I have of such people when, even after being surrounded by a crowd, I alone will fight my own wars. Everyone has disappointed me, you know, and yet, I remain silent, pretending to be oblivious of their true nature.

What's so special about you then? How did you get through to me? Questions I do not know answers of. Or rather, answers I cannot put into words. Deep down, I know how you succeeded, and that feeling is inexplicable by me.

You know what I love about you? Your utmost honesty at all times. It's your ways of cheering me up. I love your way of expressing joy in my happiness; condolence and a shoulder to cry on in times bad. It's always in those little things that give you away.

You make me feel like I'm your possession. It may sound wrong to many, but not to me. My pillars of support own me. That's what family makes you feel like, you know.

You know the moments I cherish your camaraderie? Not when I am happy or at the pinnacle.

When I am at my rock bottom.
Attimes of despair, I feel like drowning in an ocean, dark and infinitely deep. I feel like an anchor is stuck on me, pulling me further down. I squander for wiffs of breath, gasp each miniscule one possible. That's exactly how I feel whenever my life suddenly turns into a dismay.This darkness was something I'd grown fond of. I imbibed it, owned it, for I had no one.

I found beauty in stark darkness.
Until you came along.

You.. you were that one tiny ray of light, that spark of a flame, which shone through pitch darkness. Every time, you pulled me out of the abyss I was sliding further deep into, I realised your importance for me. You made me realize that light can be beautiful too. You made me realize that hope still exists, no matter how small and trivial. It exists.

I called you up in times of despair, just to ease the fire burning my heart down. You patiently listen to my rants, guiding me through it. You inspire me all the time. You became an elder brother to me, you know. You never cared about others interfering in my life, only for me. Always helping me out.

I messaged you for sessions. They became our thing, those crying sessions, where I'd just pour my heart out and you'd patiently read it and understand what I felt. You are younger than me, and yet have cared for me like an elder sister. Every time I talk to you, my heart finds a solace like no other. My world of pain and suffering vanishes into oblivion.

Two years in this purgatory called college were bearable because of you. In a sea of people, you realise that something is wrong with me, just by looking at my face. You understand the pain behind my laughter at occasions many. When I was alone, you stood by me. You talk to me because you're my friend, not because you seek something out of it.

You aren't just one person. You are many. People who I owe my life to.
In those times rare, I realise that calling you my friends would be an understatement. No, this is something way beyond. Something not bound by my mortal thinking, which cannot construe itself with mere words.

You should know that I notice. I may not express it often, or at times, do it more often than not, but either way, I truly mean it. Always. You are those rare people in my life whom I like and respect.
You are no less than magic.

Every time I gave up on myself, on humanity altogether, you kept me going. You are the only reason I'm still sane and surviving.

They say, family isn't always blood.