He has no idea his dad and I have separated

How do you tell a 5 year old that his mom and dad are not together anymore? I have worked with kids for many years but now its not Teacher Thelma blogging...its me...his mom.

Hes noticed the changes over 3 days, im walking around broken but have to keep a smile for his sake. It's strange coz a while back I read a post from one of the people I'm following. She was going through a break up after a very long term relationship.

I sympathized with her and could feel her pain, not realising I would face the same thing weeks down the line. I never saw it coming, but I was aware of the problems we have. I dont blame him, I'm just disapointed that we made empty promises to each other

I was was 19 when we met and im turnig 29 in September. Where does one even begin? I dont know adulthood without him. I know he is also hurting where he is, he is a good man, just not meant to be permanently mine.

I had so much respect for him and my relationship with him that family and friends dont know our issues or what we going through. It is gonna be a shock for everyone that knows us. They dont know us apart,so many people looked up to us. I was proud and truly thot we could make it through everything we faced.

I feel like a failure, When I joined Steemit I read so many encouraging blogs about self care. I am following amazing people that have impacted my thinking through their blogs. I decided I would work on myself and discover myself, and now the situation is that real.

I woke up this morning and cried so hard. It actually made me feel better, then I decided I would blog, maybe it was God's plan to add me on this platform. Its so much easier sharing this with people and knowing the response or advise will be genuine...and not choosing words because you know me.

People are alone and lost out there. Some are still in relationships they see are deteriorating but hold on to hope that "things will be ok in time, or when circumstances change." The only thing breaking my heart is my son, My parents have been together my whole life, and I couldn't give him that.

I'm terrified to face the world on my own, but I dont have a choice. I cant imagine my life with someone else, but I know I deserve love, more kids and a family. 28 feels young until you lose the only man in the world you have loved and dedicated your time to.

Im officially a single mom. I think the reality is starting to settle in. Im freshly wounded but need to put my big girl panties on. Do I have hope? not in us, in God. He's the only one that can mend us, and we have never relied on prayer or made effort to grow ourselves spiritually as man and women.

It is Autumn in south Africa, winter is on the way, these seasons are corresponding with my life currently. But after winter comes Spring and then Summer. I will be patient and loving to myself.

This blog wasn't meant to gain any followers. I know someone out there is going through what I'm going through, some even overcame it. I wanted to share this...while its still fresh coz sometimes we lose out on good advice or support because of our silence.

Thank you to all the Steemit family I have been following. Your posts have really made me sit and think...and now I'm also able to share♡