Suicide is never the solution to your problems
Introduction
I have suffered from depression for many years. For the longest time I was scared to even admit to it - indeed I sometimes still find it hard to talk about in person.
One of the most difficult aspects of depression is the feeling of isolation and the false belief (that can often occur) where you start to believe that you are the only that is suffering from this affliction.
This is at least in part due to the ongoing societal stigma about depression and mental health problems.
Things are improving but there is still a long way to go.
The stigma combined with the skewed (negative) thinking that occurs during depression results in many people suffering in silence until they can't take it any more.
The recent suspected suicide of Chris Cornell (from Soundgarden) has illustrated how depression and it's most severe outcome (suicide) can strike even the rich and famous.
Success does not shield people from these problems.
Suicide is not the answer though
When you reach the breaking point of despair it can seem the only way to escape is taking drastic action.
In many cases suicide seems like the easiest option. Your mind is clouded to the point where you can't see any other way out.
Often people who have reach this point have been “keeping up appearances” to hide the true situation from everyone around them.
They are unable to comprehend any other resolution. It seems to be the only fix.
The thing is that it may appear that it will fix things for you but it leaves utter devastation in your wake.
Your family and your friends will never be the same again. They will be racked by guilt and regrets.
Some will likely go to an early grave as a result of the strain.
"What if?" can destroy a person's life if they blame themselves for the death of a loved one.
Don't suffer in silence
If you are suffering from depression or are suicidal, don't suffer in silence.
The first step is to speak to someone.
Unfortunately due to the way that depression warps your thinking this will seem like the hardest thing to do.
There is often shame and guilt that makes it hard to broach the subject with people that you know and are closest to you.
One way around this is to talk to a neutral person. There are many services that offer this kind of support.
For example in the UK (and US) there are the Samaritans.
They offer telephone and in-person support. They can also help to clarify your situation and get you further help/more in depth support.
During the depths of depression it can be very hard to think clearly and another person who can look objectively at your situation can be invaluable in clearing through this fog.
I know because I have been there.
If you are in that dark situation use Google to see what services are available in your area (just try googling depression support).
Another alternative is to call up your local GP (General Practitioner) surgery/health centre as they can signpost you to the service that you need.
There are often specifically tailored services for different situations - e.g. for bereavement, drug problems etc.
If you are a spiritual person then your Church or religious centre will also likely have some support services which may be more suited to you.
-Just pick up the phone and ask.
It may seem like a really difficult thing to do, but just taking that one little action can set you on the path towards making things better.
No matter how bad it seems now it will get better
One of the disorders of thought that occurs during depression is a particular brand of nihilism and fatalism that says that things will never get better.
This is an illusion though. It is not rational, it is not logical and it is not based on any evidence.
Almost all cases of depression will improve given enough time. It is just a case of getting through the dark periods.
Some of those periods will be very dark.
For example, there were times when I would spend all my waking hours figuring out how I could end my life in a way that would not cause any harm to others. -It occupied my thoughts completely.
There is no way to do that though. Suicide will always cause harm to others. The path of least harm for everyone is to seek help.
Once you do and you start to feel better you will wonder why you didn't do it earlier.
It is not easy and you won't suddenly feel back to normal - not right away.
It will be gradual and it will take time but that feeling of knowing there is a positive way out makes a world of difference.
I am not speculating here.
I have been there myself multiple times with my own depression (and also with my patients).
Things will get better.
Conclusion
I know this is a difficult subject to talk about and I don't want to make this too long.
To summarise, the fundamental points are:
- Suicide does not solve problems it only creates worse problems for those you care about.
- Depression does get better no matter how bad things may seem.
- There is easy to access (non-judgmental) help out there. Just ask for it.
Also before I go just wanted to say that I will be around to answer questions tonight but will be away at a wedding tomorrow.
If I don't get back to you right away just be patient and I will respond.
Thank you for reading
Sometimes, the things are not bad, Nothing Bad has happened to a person, But nothing Good also has not happened to a person from a long time. And this is my story, I have not been able to do something good in my life till now. And when everyone around you is doing a lot better than you, You get up daily and ask yourself what I have done wrong, Where I have been Not so good to go through this. I have never felt suicidal tendencies, because I think It is the worse thing to do, I could do a lot better than this. I don't know If I am depressed but I have been stressed from a few months lately. It looks like my success at Not doing anything Good is eating me away slowly. But a feeling has kept me away from falling apart. A feeling to Improve my situation.
Steemit helped me a lot because I have been posting a littlebbit positive/ funny stuff daily. That lets me ease up a little bit. But still Sometime I get a lot strained If I don't do something to try To become something Worthy In Life. I don't Know what My situation is called, But I know that Our life is precious, and if we can't spend it doing something good For us, we should Give It Up to help others.
We will definitely achieve some peace and "salvation".
Suicide Is never a solution for anything ever.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I'm glad that Steemit has been helpful for you.
@thecryptofiend I'm grateful you are still alive
otherwise I wouldn't have bumped into such a very generous - big heart soul virtually.
You're going to be a big loss in the world had it been the other way around.
indeed.. everyone could have depression and some could even be a walking depression
in a particular place in Asia its rampant - there's even a forest there where people hang themselves on trees to die despite the many posts that says think about your parents, your family, wife and kids.
However, they also have the highest rate of loneliness - I guess the more people get to talk and socialize and feel that they are valued and they can do what they are passionate of - the more they live but the opposite of that - having no one and no one to understand nor support you - is already death too .. but go out and talk - or go to a shrink and if they are too embarrassed - find one who caters in skype. Suicide is the worst option - seeking help and socializing could even sometimes be free and if you got lucky -its also possible virtually these days
Thanks very good points. Yes there is the Japanese suicide forest I have seen it on TV. There is always a way to get help.
thank you!
and the sad part is it's becoming rampant in neighboring countries too
the rat race plague is causing that I suppose - back in the old days people are more social and caring but these days - everyone just wants to get out of the rat race fast - and working hard to get rich or powerful or famous yet unhappy - its all in the head really -that mindset - but it can be reconditioned
I hope the number of suicide cases lessens
Yes I think that is part of the reason for it increasing. Me too.
We Have One of those forest In India called suicide Forest, Where People Go and hang themselves their, Some even say their is a supernatural force, which kills and hang those people their.
Welcome.
I am glad that steemit helps you. It is because your thought are now on other things and not just on yourself and your situation.
Yes, and I am trying to help others too, by writing a little bit Motivating and funny posts.
This is what life is all about, ups and downs, but for some reason they were made for a reason. Everything that had happen and will happen in our lives has its purpose. We may not see and understand it right away but in the right time, we will.
True.
Suicide is definitely not the solution to your problems @thecryptofiend I have been there, the one thing that helped me the most was learning psychology, life is beautiful and you only have one.
Thanks for sharing your perspective.
I understand you. Not a long time ago I finally found a good psychiatrist, and now my life begins to turn brighter. But I never thought of suicide.
Thank you brother @thecryptofiend for this kind assistance
I do not know what to write about what I feel
But do you allow my brother to recover the money after a month?
Until the problem is finished
Thank you very much brother
Please keep it as a gift there is no need to pay it back. In the future when you see someone else in trouble help them and pay it forward that way.
I do not know how to write down what I feel
The English language is weak but you can feel what I feel like my friend
Many thanks for helping me solve the problem
Mona promised when the problem was finished, what I can help people here
Don't worry about it. Just get your problems fixed.
I have raised my spirits so much that this problem is finished
Yes - its true. Now I am over my depression. My mother has passed away a few months ago, but I was able to deal with her alzhemier's.
Thanks again. I guess I learnt no matter how wonderful my life looked to the outside world, when I suffered from depression, nothing seems to matter.
Their is always a way out .
Yes there is always a better way to deal with problems.
I completely identify. Only the effect suicide would have on my children prevented me from considering it more seriously. It does get better and it gets worse again. It's a cycle, but slowly you learn coming skills.
Yes one of the things with depression is that it is relapsing/remitting condition. I think you tend to get better at dealing with it with time.
Depression and committing suicide is plague. I remember an hall mate who committed suicide taking insecticide. That incident still hunt me to this very moment. I wish there was a Samaritan organization in Nigeria maybe that will reduce the suicide cases that plague the
I'm really sorry to hear that. I think there probably is something similar in Nigeria. I know that a lot of spiritual organisations provide such support (you don't need to believe in their religion either).
I have never heard of one though. I know there should be one, I will write a re-post when I find one. Just some months ago, a medical doctor jumped into the lagoon in Lagos to commit suicide. I am more sensitive these days to notice every man and woman I come in contact with.
Please do. That is sad. Medics generally have some of the highest rates of depression and suicide.
Wow! Hats of to you for being brave enough to share your experience, and giving tips to those who need help. Truly inspiring!
I think this post is very relevant at the moment. Have you guys heard of something called The Blue Whale suicide challenge. It's Facebook thing (I think) that apparently is trending amongst teenagers right now in many countries. Look it up, it's heartbreaking to see suicide being trendy and there are actually people encouraging these youngsters to kill themselves :(
Thanks I was not aware of it I will have a look! That "trendy" suicide thing is sick.
Today I was between two posts. Either the one I wrote or about suicide. My perspective is quite different though. I believe it is ok for one to end their life Sometimes the pain is unbearable and if it goes long enough I believe it is ok for anyone to just end it. It is statistically probable that for some people at least it will not get better.
I know almost no one will agree with this but at the end of the day, suicide is something personal. Here is another favorite quote from Cloud Atlas:
“People pontificate, "Suicide is selfishness." Career churchmen like Pater go a step further and call in a cowardly assault on the living. Oafs argue this specious line for varying reason: to evade fingers of blame, to impress one's audience with one's mental fiber, to vent anger, or just because one lacks the necessary suffering to sympathize. Cowardice is nothing to do with it - suicide takes considerable courage. Japanese have the right idea. No, what's selfish is to demand another to endure an intolerable existence, just to spare families, friends, and enemies a bit of soul-searching.”
― David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
Interesting perspective. I will have to disagree with you as I think you would expect.