Transhumanism, From a Strictly Extra-Terrestrial Point of View [Part 2]

in #life7 years ago

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This is part two of yesterday's post Transhumanism, From a Strictly Extra-Terrestrial Point of View.

... Now I know, a hundred thousand per year is a bit steep for sleeping in a freezer. But if there’s something you don’t want to skimp on, that’s the personnel handling your consciousness transfer.

The last thing you want is that they go hiring double digit IQ staff with questionable morals and a bad attitude,

What do you mean?

You know how wherever you go to MacDonald there is this guy that always gives you the wrong order?

Now hire that guy, and you’ll know the true meaning of waking up to as a man trapped in a woman’s body.

You’re a 30 years old man and they upload your consciousness to a 90-year-old woman… Or a four-year-old kid.

And then what do you do?

Funny Questions That Ought to Be Asked

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Suppose the guy who writes the label on each consciousness file suffers from a bit of Dyslexia.

You think you’re resuscitating Obama, but instead you’re getting Osama.

Suppose they hire a prankster, and he uploads your consciousness to a Chucky Doll to scare his friends.

Suppose all those souls fall in the hands of a Voodoo priest, and he starts uploading them into all sorts of tiny wicker dolls.

You go to bed as a human, and wake up as Baby Groot.

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Suppose you work so hard to get frozen in your perfect shape, but then some ugly politician bribes his way to get your body instead.

And you know they’ll do it.

Think about it, if you looked like the third cousin of Smeagol, would you wanna wake up in your own body?

Which makes you wonder, when’s the last time you’ve seen an attractive politician anyways?

It goes like this: Pretty politicians > Honest Politicians > Unicorns.

Classified by degree of rarity. I guess that’s why they call politics Showbiz for ugly people.

I tell you one thing though, if that body/consciousness extraction is actually invented, how long till they pass some sort of phony legislation to secure themselves the best bodies?

And then what happens?

That moment when you look at the mirror and you see Dick Cheney staring back at you.

And you thought Chucky was the scary one.

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Suppose the staff get bored, drunk or stoned and start using their creativity to good use.

You wake up with your consciousness uploaded in some albino bulldog just because someone wanted to recreate Brian from Family guy.

Or even worse… Suppose they get even more creative and they upload your consciousness to a freakin’ car.

Would you then wake up as a transformer?

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Now let’s talk security. Where are all these souls are going to be stored? In floppy disks? USB sticks? Maybe install the latest edition of Nero and burn them in CDs?

They better not store it in the cloud, because we all know that there’s a certain 4chan who would love to get his hands on that.

You think the guy who risks jail to leak nude pics from celebrities will resist the urge to leak their darkest fantasies and naughty dreams?

The best thing you can hope for is to store those souls in a Trezor or a Ledger Nano and hope they’re never get corrupted.

But here’s the important question, who’s going to be in charge of safeguarding the all those consciousness folders?

Don’t tell me it’s the government, because those guys are notorious for miss-placing important documents. Hell, the Pentagon itself misplaced a couple of Trillion Dollars a few years back.

Forget about the trillions. Even the plane that hit the Pentagon on 9/11 was miraculously disappeared. Talk about file management.

But let’s suppose they make several copies for just in case.

How long till someone start marketing that as the ultimate mutli-tasking solution.

Imagine this, now you can upload yourself into multiple bodies, and get much more things done than ever before.

Here’s a business idea: Click!

Armies of One

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You’d be working late at night while making love to your wife at the same time.

Hell, you can even have a third “you” going to sex-classes to become a better lover, while you’re already making love to your partner at the same time.

However - user warning - You should never tell her about the other guy, because she could ask you to bring him in for a threesome.

And trust me, there are no good answers to that.

So, you better think it through from the get-go or it could seriously get out of hand.

Now, suppose there is only one copy per person and but the person in question does actually suffer from Multiple-Personality Disorder in real life.

Do all his/her personalities get uploaded to the new body? Or is there some kind of limits established per soul?

Suppose it’s a normal person with only one personality, but the consciousness-extraction catches them in a lucid dream or an out of body experience… Do you then download a blank disk?

Suppose that while downloading someone’s consciousness, we learn that they’re possessed by a demon. Does the demon cross to the other side?

Or does it depend on if the demon’s drivers are compatible with the latest version of Windows?

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Suppose that the main software where all souls are uploaded get infected by some seriously malignant computer virus and it corrupts millions of files of consciousness.

Should we then prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse? Or should we pray to the skies that science will provide a Zombie cure while they’re at it?

Oh common, Zombies are not real. True, but until further proof, neither is soul-transference nor body-swaps.

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I only want my frozen body and conscious uploading done by the best, non-government, triple digit, background checked to the wazoo mother fuckers in charge. ;)

Seek and ye shall find 😂 😂

Haha that's the safe bet my friend, otherwise I bet you'll be surprised when you wake up. :P

Every time I say nothing will surprise me anymore, but they always keep screwing up in unexpected ways haha

If people didn't screw up, would they even be people? Haha

Haha true.. They would be as much of robots as those they aim to create :)

Exelente post.!

Soy nuevo en Steemit, sería de mucha ayuda si me sigues y votas en mi blog. @Fyahconde Revisa mi contenido ... poco a poco lo iré cargando más y más.

Éxito y Mil Bendiciones para todos.

That really made big change there I like your post thanks.for.sharing with us it.amAzing

Oh common, Zombies are not real. True, but until further proof, neither is soul-transference nor body-swaps.

Lmao but i have heared these days there are drugs that cause a person to look like zombie act like zombie

Wow. you really have a creative mind and probably gave some politician a new idea. Lol!

Haha oh man! I hope I didn't give them any ideas :P

Your creativity is amazing, the ability you have to fit the characters in the changes of attitudes of the same, actually I congratulate you, you are a perfect candidate for science fiction film writer, congratulations, I follow you.

Haha thanks a lot Milca! Im glad you liked it :)

You have a very creative mind. You came up with so many possibilities. I do believe that politicians will absolutely steal our bodies if they got the chance. 😊 I'm not sure I would know if I'm in the wrong body if I do wake up. I think that's the only time I would be bothered, seeing someone else in my body would be weird. But again it might make me see how much better or worse I could have been🤷🏽‍♀️.

Haha that would be a funny situation :) "Hey! Who are you and what are you doing with my body?" ;)

The person: Someone else has my body, but I think I like it just fine where I am.

Haha me too :)

what a brilliant post is was right to this part is going to be more amazing wonderful

Haha thank you very much! I'm glad you found it entertaining :)

Now i know why the possibilities are limitless around us

loved its ingenuity truly rocking post

Thank you!! :)

Great talent you have in mind it reflected today truly remarkable :D

Your writing story is fantastic, the ability you have to fit the characters in the changes of attitudes of the same, actually I thanked you.this type of movie is very interesting and funny

Thank you so much!

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