Cryptotalk, and Surreal Conversations with the Uber Driver

A few days ago, I ordered an Uber to get to the airport since I had a plane to catch. At first, it seemed like any other ride I’ve taken before, but little did I know that it was going to be one of the most fascinating Uber conversations I ever had.

At first it started like the usual: How’s the AC? It’s fine. Do you want some confectionery? No, thanks. Have you enough leg space? I’m fine.

Then after two minutes of awkward silence, the most surprising thing happened.

“Have you heard about them cryptocurrencies.. And what do they call it.. Bitcoin?”

I pause for a second, thinking that barely a couple of years ago those words would’ve sounded like Chinese to most people.

“Matter of fact I have, yeah.”

“Well then you know what’s it all about, right?”

I don’t say anything. Quite simply because I was more interested on what he had to say.

“That’s the endgame, you know? Bitcoin, that’s the cashless society they wanted to implement for decades.”

He stares at me, probably gaging my reaction to see if he should go on, or hold off a little.

“The RFID chip.. The mark of the beast. That’s what this whole thing is all about”.

“So bitcoin is the mark of the beast?” I ask just to make sure.

“That’s right”.

“What would that make of Satoshi? The Antichrist?”

“Who?”

“Satosh… Nevermind.”

He went on a short discourse about the one world government, the one world religion, the Illuminati.. And just when my attention started to drift away, he announced that he was going to let me in on a secret.

That he was going to reveal the true identity of the inventor of Bitcoin.

“Gues who?”

“I was gonna say Satoshi, but I guess that ship has already sailed” I think to myself.

“It’s the pope!”

“Pope Francis?” I ask in disbelief.

“The one and only” He readjusts his position, sitting big and probably very proud of what’s he’s about to say.

“It’s the Black Pope, that Jesuit. He’s the last pope as stipulated in Saint Malachy’s prophecy” To be paraphrasing.

He continues for a while but my mind is drifting away. I began to ponder about this great new tendency where everyone nowadays is talking about cryptos, and wondering about the accuracy of the old axiom “All publicity is good publicity”.

He realizes I wasn’t listening anymore and he taps on my shoulder.

“You know what they’re hiding in the Vatican’s basements?”

“I’m gonna say Reptilians?”

“Worse!” He says without even blinking, nor laughing for that matter.

“Bitcoin mining rigs” He continues.

Reptilians would’ve been more believable, I think to myself.

“Wait, how is that worse?” I wanted to ask him. But I thought it through for a second and went with a joke instead.

“Well, clergymen are known for their cryptographic skills”.

He just gives me a blank stare and quickly grabs a second phone from his pocket, plays a video and hands it to me.

“Here watch this!”

“What’s that?”

“Just watch it. You’ll understand soon”.

In the screen, some suit-wearing guy appears sitting on a desk with a black background behind him.

A few seconds into the video I understand where the driver had all these ideas from. The talk show host doesn’t seem to shy away from making all sorts of bold kinds of claims about how the Vatican created bitcoin under the Saint Peter’s Basilica.

He then soon engages in a strongly emotional rant about how Pope Francis is the inventor of Bitcoin, claiming so with absolute certainty and without providing any proof”.

“He absorbs their dread with his narrative. Because of this, he's effective at proportion to the amount of certainty he can project.” ― True Detective.

The podcast host is still talking, but my driver interrupts to give me some background on the speaker.

"He’s a bible expert." He says. "Oh and he’s also one of the most renowned historians in the world."

“No disrespect to religious people everywhere, but what possible relationship exists between Bitcoin and the Bible? Or ancient history for that matter?”

What he says is “Just watch and you’ll understand soon” but what he probably meant was “Stop questioning”.

I watch for about twenty more seconds and just when I was going to hand him his phone back, the show host says: “I have proof! I have undeniable and irrefutable proof!”

Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to give it a couple more minutes.

The podcaster starts flipping through the bible’s pages searching for something, and with that my curiosity only increases. So does my sudden urge for popcorn.

But suddenly he stopped flipping pages, closes the bible and places it on the table.

“By the way, have you ever wondered why Muslims are never referred to by name in the bible?”

“What?” I think to myself, and in a total state of disbelief, I decide to continue watching.

He just goes on and on about the fact that there is not one single mention of the word “Muslim” in the bible.

He continues: “Despite all the holy wars and the crusades.. Muslims are never referred to by name in the bible.”

It gets crazier, and he quickly begins to blame SWJs for political correctness.. About the bible!

I look at the Uber driver and say:

“You know for being such a respected historian and bible expert… Someone should’ve told him that the bible came way before Islam did.”

He did not laugh, in fact he seemed a little upset.

“I’m not trying to offend you” I said. “But let’s see if I got this straight. So while writing the bible, God almighty was harassed by Social Justice Warriors who forced him into political correctness so he couldn’t refer to Muslims by name in the bible, is that it?”

The minute I said those words, I realized they were in excess. Nothing would come out of that anyways.

The guy just wanted to confirm what he already chose to believe. He tunes in to some preacher who namedrops the Vatican, Muslims and Lefties (their perceived ‘enemies’ I suppose) and he does in order to attach cryptocurrency to that they hate the most.

That’s how the merchants of hate operate.

The rest of the drive at the airport was silent, which granted me some time to ponder about the moment cryptocurrencies are in right now in relationship to public exposure.

I pondered about how long it would take for all these lifestyle entrepreneurs - or whatever they’re called - to start selling seminars and newsletters about how cryptocurrencies.

I pondered about how many partnerships will be created next year between cryptocurrencies and mainstream influencers.

And more importantly, I pondered about this whole thing means to the common man.

Closing Thoughts

Yes, the Uber conversation was a surreal as it gets. But Blockchain is no simple concept to understand. So maybe in the first stages of adoption, each person will inevitably attempt to understand it in the context and universe they know best.

The important thing is that the message is already getting out there and reaching people from all walks of life.

I don’t know what the next year holds, but my guess is that one year from now, cryptocurrencies are going to be more in the spotlight than ever before.

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