5 types of people you will meet in a group assignment.

A lot of us who have been to college or still are, are familiar with group work. For those not familiar with this term, group work simply means work that is done as a group. Where each group member is supposed to contribute to the completion of the task. Group projects and group assignments fall under group work.

Now that we know what group work is, let me tell you 5 types of people you will meet in a group assignment.

Workers
Workers are also known as ‘Messis’, not because they are messy but because they literally contribute to 99.9% to the success of the team or completion of the task. The other 0.1% has been left out due to margin of error.

Statistics tell us that most of these workers are Rihanna fans and their favourite Rihanna song is “Work” as they say it gives them motivation to work. And just to show you that workers are internationally recognised and appreciated, Shakira(an award winning international artist) gave them a shout out in her 2010 world cup song where she sung “Tsaminamina eh eh worker worker eh eh”). If you translate it to English it means workers are very important people!

These are the kind of people who give their all. But they also take! They take the initiative to form a WhatsApp group. In fact if they are given more power they would go ahead and form a country or even a continent, maybe even a whole planet or even better the whole galaxy!

ha you guys get the joke right? Anyway these are kind of people who appear last minute with the same line always. “Haiya, kulikuwa na group work?’. And they almost always get the same response. ‘Eeeh na tuko karibu kumaliza”

Without the slightest pinch of shame they respond.’Haiya malizeni mimi nitaenda kuprint.’’ And as if that’s not enough they put their names on top of the list as if they are the ones who did most of the work. In Swahili they say kazi ni kazi which means; it doesn’t matter what work you are doing, it’s still work. Well today I am happy to announce that The Wahengas have revised that saying to: kazi ni kazi lakini kuprint si kazi! It’s even in the new constitution; article 2 subsection 3A.

Pseudo workers
Basically Pseudo workers are fake workers. These are the kind of people busy looking busy. In short or trousers (whichever you prefer) these are people who look like they are working, but in real sense are doing nothing. All they do is echo what workers say. For instance: Worker: “Kenya gained independence in 1963.” Pseudo worker: “ndio 1963!” Worker: H20 is the scientific formula of water. Pseudo worker: “Yeah H20 is water”

Our research tells us that most of the pseudo workers come from china… and that’s why they are fake. And as you know numbers don’t lie… neither do they sit, I think they stand!

Silent nodders.
Silent nodders are pseudo workers who don’t talk. These are kind of people who shake. No! Not their derriere! Control your thoughts mate! They shake their heads (the one above their shoulders). They nod to everything being said by other group members. It doesn’t matter whether what is being said is right or left, (that there is a joke you are supposed to be laughing ha ha ha). They will nod in agreement to anything and everything.

Ghost workers
When a group is being formed they are nowhere to be seen. When work is being divided they are nowhere to be seen. When it comes to print the work they are nowhere to be seen. But wait until it’s time to submit or present the assignment. Out of thin (or fat) air they appear, begging that their names be added to the list of group members. And they somehow manage to get their names added, because they always have connections. That’s when you realise life isn’t fare, because if life was fare the makangas would have so many lives and cats would be makangas, because they have nine lives. ‘Hizi siku hata ndio ukule kwa matanga, unahitaji connections!’ –Kenyan Proverb.

@perminusgaita