Confessions of A Sex Worker - #3 - This Isn't Chipotle, Dude.
"Wow you're hot, what are you into? Do you do half hours? Can I pay half in person half next week? Will you top me if I give you $50 more even though you've already told me you don't offer that? Do we have to use a condom? Can I shoot photos? Can I record video? Can I tie you up? Do we need a safe word?"
This sentiment equates to:
"Can I get half pork and half steak, but double meat and four extra tortillas, and can you scramble up some eggs to put in that, can you make some new beans too? In fact never-mind I'm sorry about that meat I just had you put on, I'll take chicken, the drier the better. Oh shit sorry, I know you're almost done wrapping that already, but can you double wrap that for me?
Wait. I'll just have a burrito bowl. Thanks!"
You have no idea how infuriating it is as a sex worker, to have clients that have no idea what they're doing or what they want. That have clearly put in zero effort into figuring out relatively standard sex work practices before pursuing the activity. They never once thought that Google would lead them to different articles and blogs full of information in seconds with the simple search "how to buy sex."
I imagine anybody in the service industry can empathize with me on this, the groaning when you're initially given the request, the stretching yourself thin just to try and cater to them because you want the sale.
Unfortunately, there are differences, my body is not Chipotle, my body is my home. Asking me to do things that I don't offer, is akin to asking for tacos at McDonald's. It's not happening in my lifetime. When a client's desire is to stretch my limits as far as they'll go, to keep adding in more requests on top of what they've already ordered. It's actually frightening. These men want to see how desperate you are, and how willing you are to bend for their favor. This happened to me about a month ago.
Someone approached me asking me for a paid modelling session, someone that had a foot fetish. I figured okay cool, this will be easy to accommodate, I can give a standard rate per hour for lewd photo shoots no problem. Until the requests started coming. "Can I tickle you while I'm taking the photos? Can we maybe make a video of it? I'll pay more. Can I face fuck you while you're tied up? I'll pay more. Can we forget about a safe word? Can we just fuck on camera? I'll pay more."
My problem aren't these individual requests, it's that this guy clearly went from wanting something small, to something much more intimate and detailed within minutes of propositioning me, and every time I would up my price on him, he would throw something new into the pile for us to consider. Every step f the way I kept telling him "Just tell me what you want and I can give you a Yes/No and a price. You're pushing every inch I give you." With a regular client I wouldn't mind this so much, but this was some random local guy in one of my inboxes. This was scary and annoying.
He wanted some pictures to tide him over until our meeting and session, that's easy to fulfill and understand, so he paid me $50 to take 20 personal pictures for him. After he paid me for them we set up a time we'd both be free for me to take them, and by the time that time rolled around, he was asking to fuck me without a safe word or a condom. Initially I was going to have my girlfriend with me while the shoot was happening, but instead I decided against an arrangement with him to preserve myself. When I told him this, he wanted a refund for the pictures he had already paid for!
You don't get to fucking order a pizza and cancel the order 30 minutes later to a full refund. Seriously dude? Not happening, I blocked him on everything and kept his money, hopefully it's a good lesson on how to communicate with service workers, because the hours I spent planning things with him alone were worth that $50.
Clients, please don't do this shit, know what you want, know what you're asking for, and don't add on after every request to the point where your professional is worrying for their safety just because you can't make up your mind on your order.
I'm not Chipotle.
very hurting confession, actually people treat them like a market product