Men live lives of quiet desperation

Men live lives of quiet desperation.

When contemplating this quote on the relevancy of my life, I reflect on my own short falling and stresses. Every day we experience the always looming doubt of success, and the terrifying thought of accepting failure. As we move forward, taking on more responsibilities hitting a wall seems to happen more and more. Seeing the wall as a success of “going for it”, makes the molasses like push through to the other side taste like honey from the bees that never quit to make it for their colony.
The quiet desperation of looking to your significant other, your child, your family. Wanting to give them the best chances to wake up smiling, wake up knowing you are upholding your side of the “agreement” to protect, to build stairs up to safety, to constantly be on the hunt. As we add on these important stairs, those who we hold close wear your short falling in their eyes. Tears add to the always filling room of water that we struggle to float above, that we always are working to unplug the cork at the bottom and release all their pain, as the level keeps rising. The never-ending lapping of water on your heals as you temporarily push up from the water level, building more stairs to help get over those walls and away from the water. To get to another room where the level isn’t so high. And where the steps lead not to a high ground, but to the shining light of happiness and contentedness.
Reflecting on past failures, and how they whisper in the back of our minds. Constantly chittering about deep caverns of pain, sadness, and desperation to escape. The flashback feelings that temporarily short falling weigh heavy like a pack that was already full. The winds that whisper push on our packs, filling it with air that turn to lead making the steps harder to climb, harder to swim. Moving forward is the only option to escape, because falling back means falling forever.