Fighting your lack of motivation

Everyone has days like that. Days in which you just can’t get anything done, you feel incapable, you have doubts about your motivations and goals, you question the worth of your actions and ambitions. Shitty days of sadness, lack of motivation and inspiration.

Questioning yourself about your choices from time to time is natural. We should cultivate the habit of re-evaluating our values and beliefs from time to time. What we think is important, what we judge as valuable, changes more than we notice during the course of our life. This goes side by side with our perception of world which defines the reality in which we live.

Your vision of reality

Your beliefs shape your reality. Regardless of what is the “true” reality, what you believe makes your reality. It is possible that reality in fact, can’t ever be defined. What really matters is the way you live and believe. It doesn’t matter if the “real” reality is better, worse or just different.

I can give you a theoretical example of this principle using the colors we can see with our eyes. Imagine that tomorrow you would wake up and everyone you would meet would not be capable of see the color red anymore, in a similar way to what happens with people that are color blind. You would say that you can see the color red on blood, ketchup, strawberries and people would disagree with you stating that they see a different color.

If you had to limit the identification of a color to the naked eye (without using any device), it would be impossible for you to know if in fact you were the only one that would still be capable of seeing the color red. The true reality could be that you were seeing red where in fact there was none. Another possibility would be that everyone that you met was lying to you about which color they could see.

In this imaginary situation, how important is for you to know which possibility is in fact “reality”?

The factual reality is irrelevant, what matters most is to shape your reality and live the best way you can.

Shaping your reality

The mind is very complex and it’s constantly changing. Your physical state also has direct influence on how your brain works, forget the idea that your mind works independently from your body. Here I detail some actions I try to take when my reality looks unpleasant or when I just don’t feel motivated enough.

1. Try to evaluate the current situation in a logical and concise way

Ask yourself if there is something you can do right now to improve the situation. If not now, is there something you can do in the future? Make a clear plan of action and execute it soon as possible, take notes to be sure you won’t forget. Writing down your next steps helps you to feel that you already started to move in the direction of an improvement. This feeling is a benefit by itself, but written plans also increase your chances of following on actual actions and changes.

2. Ask yourself why are you going through this moment and what you want to achieve

Quite often this isn’t an easy or a straight forward step. Usually my frustration comes in periods when my actions aren’t aligned with my long-term values, goals or beliefs. What makes it possible for me to realize what’s off is the fact that I have my principles, long-term goals and SMART goals (which should always be aligned with my long-term goals). My SMART goals in general turn into projects or challenges which I need to plan and work over a series of actions.

We all let our attention, energy and time to be taken by things that we don’t expect or didn’t really plan in advance. We often do these things without even thinking about why we are doing it, about what it is bringing to our life, for who we are doing it, who are we spending our time with. You need to be conscious about your motivations. Have a look at the habits you have in your life.

In summary, think about where your energy and time is being used and why you do what you do. Is this pushing you in the direction you want to go? Do you have any idea about your values or long-term goals? You should work on that, after figuring out this it will be easier to correct your course when the days with low motivation and unpleasant feelings come. Regardless of you being conscious about it, the trigger of these bad feelings is usually a lack of alignment with your values and goals. If you don’t know very well what your goals and values are, it’s much harder to take actions in the correct direction and gain momentum.

3. Commit to make your life be what you want it to be

Fall in love with growing and improving. Conquer fear and appreciate the challenge. Real commitment looks like it is simple, you just need to keep taking actions towards your goals. But simple doesn't mean easy.

Many successful people express how they learned from their mistakes and how this contributed to their growth. We tend to think that this is a common trait and that this was not decisive in the success of these people. Sure, everyone learns with their mistakes, right?

In fact, we repeat similar and sometimes the exact same mistake multiple times. We take notice of that later and often fail again in the same way. One example that I often use is how people fail to take care of their health. We all know what we have to do, right? Exercise, don't eat crap food, sleep good, don't smoke, don't drink too much alcohol. Even if I narrow the problem to only focus only on weight loss, most people simply can't follow a clear and simple plan that consists in control what they eat.

To keep yourself on track even with simple plans you need to constantly motivate yourself and keep your mind sharp. Remember also that the mind doesn't exist in isolation from your body, so you need to watch your health very well and take care of your body by: eating good, exercising and having quality sleep. This is a constant and never-ending process, without attention and dedication the mind can even regress instead of grow and improve, so it's necessary to really commit yourself and enjoy the process.

Some inspiration

I will leave here some meaningful quotes about reality. Your reality only exists in fact for you. Regardless of what you think of this fact, it only makes evident that we are at the same time master and slave of the reality we live in. Take ownership for your life and reality, leave the victim mindset behind, you might not be responsible for everything that led you to your current situation, but you are responsible for everything that will come from now on.

Fall in love with the version of yourself that you know already exists inside you, the one you will make real. Enjoy your journey and live every day with conscious choices.

• “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” – Albert Einstein
• “If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.” – Les Brown
• “Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.” – Joy Page
• “There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask, why? I dream of things that never were, and ask, why not?” – Robert Kennedy
• “Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.” – Anais Nin
• “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” – Henry David Thoreau
• “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France
• “Harry Potter isn’t real? Oh no! Wait, wait, what do you mean by real? Is this video blog real? Am I real if you can see me and hear me, but only through the internet? Are you real if I can read your comment but I don’t know who you are or what your name is or where you’re from or what you look like or how old you are? I know all of those things about Harry Potter. Maybe Harry Potter’s real and you’re not.” – John Green

Hope this helps some people on improving their life, specially on these bad days.

I would also appreciate any constructive feedback (negative can also be constructive).

Thanks for your time,

Táizel