Lesbian and gay in China

Sorry to my poor English!Now,let me introuduce myself first.
Hello,I'm a new here,I'm 34 years old.I lived in Zhengzhou,Henan province,China.I'm a lesbian.I have lived in Zhengzhou for more than 10 years,but my hometown is in Dalian, Liaoning province.The reason I come to Zhengzhou from Dalian was my girlfriend is here.So I quit my job and came to Zhengzhou.Everything in Zhengzhou is strange to me, and also the dialects here I can't understand,too.But for my girlfriend,my love, I still choose to live here.For some reasons,we break up in 2016.About my sexual orientation,my parients don't konw.If they know,they will let me back to Dalian,my home and break up with my girlfriend.May be they will take me to see the psychologist and forced me to treat my "lesbian desease",they think this is a kind of diease.They can't understand or accept lesbian or gay.I'm the only child in my family,my parents put all their hopes on myself.,they hope I can get married with a man and have babies like other couples.But I just let them down.I hope I'm not a lesbian,but there is no way I am not interested in any boys.Lesbians or gays,in fact,we're different from any other opposite sex couples.In China,we have to bear the gaze of most people outside,we have to buy a house,and we have to give our parents living expenses every months.All of these,we need to work hard by ourselves.Most of the time, we have to live in the dark.In China,most of us can't choose to come out the cabinet(tell our family our true sexual orientation),because they can't accept it and will feel very sad of us.So,we have to choose to get married with a gay,a fake marriage.We envy these countries accept lesbian or gay marriage,because we want give our love a real marriage.So I used to think about immigration abroad, but immigration is a big deal. It’s not practical to implement it.I see a blog some time ago and said that Taiwan may have legality for gay or lesbian marriage, saying that Thailand may be also.Most of the comment of this blog says if one day Chinese gay or