So, what do you do when your three-year-old walks out of the bathroom and randomly spurts out the "F" word, again, and again? It's holiday time for my little fandamily and for the next few days we are huddled up in my childhood home town, spending time with friends and family. Some of our family members have been there and done that and are passed the days of child-rearing, while others have yet to dare make little replicates of themselves. This is why, when it comes to uttering profanities, we've had plenty uncensored instances of late that have infiltrated the ears of our sponge of a three-year-old, who up until this point, only new one bad "F" word (FART)...and now he's learnt another!

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WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE CHILD SAYS THE "F" WORD?

Well first of all, we had a good talking to the "adults" and asked them to just tone down the language a notch when the kids are around. We were met with "ya, ya, ya's" - which didn't sound promising (rolling eyes). Ha ha, they say you can't choose your family! 

But then, what next?

We decided to ignore it, which at first I thought might be a bad idea, since maybe it was one of those teachable moments where we needed to teach our son right from wrong. But after reading a few parenting articles and asking friends for advice, it decided that was the right thing to do!

What we learnt is that your response needs to be age appropriate. With younger kids the best you can do is ignore the curse words, clear them from your home (chat to those naughty aunts and uncles) and simply don't overreact. While my hubby and I have to confess that we did stifle a little giggle, the WORST thing you can do is laugh at your kid when they say those "must never be said" swear words. This just encourages them to clown around more and your guffaw can be viewed as encouragement, or approval. 

If you can remove the naughty words from your child's environment and avoid reacting to their spurts, then the troopers should forget the bad words altogether.

Older kids are a different story. Kids from ages five and up are more likely to use swear words in a rebellious nature, or to test their limits (and sometimes to simply experiment with their limits). In this case, a more "sit down and talk" occasion is called for.  The Child Development Institute advises that the following is actioned:

If your child has more developed language skills, a calm and simple explanation of why they shouldn’t swear will often solve the problem. If you tell them that a word is not nice, there’s a good chance that they will cease to use it. Older children who know that swear-words are bad may need to be disciplined when they use them. Depending on their age and the circumstances, time out, suspension of certain privileges or grounding may be appropriate. Consider the context of the swear-word. Calling someone a bad name is much more hurtful than swearing because you tripped and fell. Both should be discouraged, but make sure the punishment fits the crime. When you slip and say a curse word, apologize. Doing so will set a good example for your child. Offer more acceptable alternatives to swearing. There are plenty of words in the English language that are not so offensive. You could even encourage your child to make up his own silly expressions to use instead of curse words. - https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/how-to-be-a-parent/angry_child/kids-swearing-cursing/#.WzKXbaczbIU

Kids will be kids and I have yet to meet a parent who has not had to deal with a swearing child. It's natural for kids to say the "forbidden" or perhaps repeat the norm of what they hear in their environments! The best we can do as parents is work on what we say, how we say it and when we say it - it's up to us to set the example. But even if you do happen to have a curse-free home, your children are still very likely to pick up the words from friends and TV, so try not to be too shocked when that first "F" word slips out the beautiful mouth of your innocent child!